1 Timothy 5:8
People who don’t take care of their relatives, and especially their own families, have given up their faith. They are worse than someone who doesn’t have faith in the Lord.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Today is my cousin JD’s birthday. I have known JD since he was a very little boy… when his parents moved to Arkansas from Wisconsin. His mother was recovering from breast cancer, and she wanted JD to grow up near her husband’s family. So they moved to the hometown of JD’s dad. I’ve shared this story before…but as JD grew up, he got into trouble - particularly with drug abuse. He spent time in juvenile detention programs and rehabs. His mother’s cancer returned, and she died around the time JD graduated from high school. When JD tried to physically harm a police officer, he was sent to prison.
It seemed that there was no hope for this guy… and we were all heartsick. But JD’s dad never gave up on him… and I knew that his mother and grandmother wouldn’t either – were they still alive. I felt God telling me, “This is your cousin…the son of people you love dearly. Reach out to him.” I’ll be honest… JD scared me. He was loud and wild… and VERY tall and strong. He intimidated a lot of people. But I got his prison address and began to write to him. I told him that I loved him… but God loved him even more. And JD returned letters filled with anger, hatred…and absolutely no peace.
I’ll spare the further details, except to say that JD was sent to “the hole” for some infraction in the prison’s general population, and he had nothing to keep him company except a Bible [and the Holy Spirit]. This is where JD rediscovered Jesus. From then, everything changed… and a “new creature” emerged. I wish I could say that everything has been peaceful and happy since that time. But the truth is that there were rocky patches in our relationship… and even rockier times for JD. He married Angie, the love of his life, in 2011…only to lose her to breast cancer two days before their 2nd wedding anniversary this past January. JD and Angie had spent much of their two-year marriage traveling from city to city, preaching the gospel in churches and a underneath large tent they hauled with them.
This morning, I was watching a segment on ABC’s The View about Lt. Col. Mark Weber, who appeared on the June 5th episode with his wife and three sons. Weber was diagnosed with Stage IV gastrointestinal cancer in 2010, shortly before being appointed as a military advisor to the Afghan Parliament. He penned Tell My Sons… A Father’s Love Letters as a collection of life lessons for his own sons – and for others. Something Weber said in the end of the interview was incredibly profound… as I am certain are many of the insights in his book. He said in part…”What do you do when life doesn’t go the way that you want it to? Because I’ve got news for you – and I hope it’s not a news flash – but life’s not going to go the way that you want it to. So what are you gonna do? [You] realize that sadness is part of the equation…you can’t get rid of that. And you don’t call what’s sad ‘happy’… you look for the happiness that’s right next to it.” Eight days later, Weber peacefully slipped away from this earth at his home, surrounded by family members.
My cousin JD and Angie dreamed of spending years on the road, enlarging God’s Kingdom and helping others find peace and healing. So when Angie died so suddenly, JD sold virtually everything he owned, packed his tent, loaded his truck, and headed out to continue the work that God had called him to do. He is looking for happiness right next to the sadness. And while I know he misses Angie every minute and grieves the loss of her service alongside him, JD is finding purpose – and peace – in his own discipleship. He is presently ministering every night under a tent in Fairview, Alabama, where lives are being changed and souls are being won to Jesus. In one Facebook post, JD wrote… “I'm speechless about the move of God in Fairview. We had planned to end the meeting on the 14th of June… but as of right now, it's open-ended. We will be here until whenever!”
And I am reminded once again of the words in 1 Timothy 5:8, where Paul admonishes us to take care of our relatives… especially our own families. Each of us will become disheartened, disappointed, and/or discouraged at one time or another. Some of us may wish to throw up our hands and say, “That’s it! I’m done!” But God is reminding us in this passage that we must never stop loving others and caring about them. We may stop giving physical and monetary aid… we may step aside and allow others to learn hard lessons or tempers to cool… but we must always share love in Christ Jesus, just as He does for us when we are unlovely. God will handle the rest. He will work in our lives and the lives of others - and fill in the gaps. He will bring peace and contentment, and the assurance that we did what He asked of us.
I know that some of you are tempted to “find a new family.” But what if God did this to you? This would not bring you peace, any more than a failure to share God’s love with your own family members will allow you to operate in joy and contentment. Ask God to show you how and where to minister to your own relatives… and to your family of believers in Jesus Christ. Begin in your own back yard…then branch out and broaden your circle. Ask God to bless your obedience… to help you discover happiness right next to sadness… and to fill you with peace in the process.
©2013 Debbie Robus
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