Ezekiel 18:20
Only those who sin will be put to death. Children won’t suffer for the sins of their parents, and parents won’t suffer for the sins of their children. Good people will be rewarded for what they do, and evil people will be punished for what they do.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
In her book The Glass Castle, author Jeannette Walls describes what life was like for her and her brother and sister as they grew up with parents who were “different” at best… and downright neglectful and shady in some regards. They didn’t pay bills… they “skedaddled” in the middle of the night a few steps ahead of landlords, collection agents and law enforcement. Walls’ mother, a well-educated teacher, chose to spend her days and nights painting while the children slept, quite literally, under an old boat that protected them from water dripping through a leaky roof… and rats hung out in the large bowl of sugar that sat atop the dining table. Food was scarce, and the children were forced to forage in the garbage cans at school and elsewhere in order to fill their stomachs. The children suffered abuse at the hands of a grandmother, and the parents looked the other way. The book is fascinating and heartbreaking on every page, and I encourage you to read it if you haven’t already.
What is truly amazing is that the children survived. Walls and her brother fared better than their sister, but all of the children made their own way and were able to carve something of a life separate from their parents. Their story gives hope to countless families in which either the children feel destined to repeat the “sins of the father and mother,” or the parents feel responsible for how their kids “turned out”. While there is a distinct and often traceable connection…you can’t account for the power of choice. And that is what this scripture passage clearly indicates.
Just because your parents were not the greatest doesn’t mean you have to turn out to be like them. You don’t have to be a poor manager just because your parents were. You can break the “curse” of alcoholism, drug addiction, physical abuse, and more. You can be the first person in your household to finish school and go to college. You can have a marriage that is strong and steady and doesn’t fall apart within the first few years. You can choose to serve God and act as His disciple…even if your parents never darkened the door of a church or picked up a Bible.
By the same token, parents are not ultimately responsible for their children’s choices. You can serve as the model example of Godly, loving, responsible parents… do everything “right”… and still produce children who choose to behave in a completely different manner. You can live in the same house with brothers and sisters who are downright scoundrels… but that doesn’t make you one. You can have grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins who have poor reputations… who are disobedient and disrespectful to God and to others…but you can choose NOT to be like them.
At the end of the day, there comes a time when we all make choices. We choose whether to throw our hands up and say, “Look at me and my family – this is just who we are”… or we can say, “I am only responsible for MYSELF… God will judge ME on my own merits. I am choosing to follow Him and behave in a way that honors this commitment.” I truly dislike it when someone makes a comment about another person that references his/her family… as if it is accepted as fact that we cannot be our own person and must operate in a manner similar to those in our bloodline. Nothing could be farther from the truth. You do have a choice. And yours is the only one that will matter to God.
How will you decide? Who will you follow? When God looks at the sum of your life, what will you have to show Him?
©2013 Debbie Robus
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