Matthew 7:1-5
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
My husband and I were watching a sitcom recently in which a couple was getting ready for a party. One partner was criticizing the other… or rather, gently pointing out faults and puffing himself up… and the other was sick and tired of it. So he let his partner know that he was done with the “suggestions.” When he turned around to get something out of a dresser drawer, he had a pair of underwear hanging out of the waistband of his pants. The other guy thought about saying something… but then he remembered how he had just been chastised. He said nothing, and this guy ended up at the party… his extra pair of underwear hanging from his waistband for everyone to see.
This may be a goofy analogy… but hang with me here. First, we don’t know what is truly in another person’s heart …or his/her life. A few months ago, a friend’s pastor called and asked me to sub for her as pianist at a church in a nearby community. My friend was having some medical treatments and needed a little time off. I so wanted to help her… but at the same time, I was terribly busy with my own family, and felt I could not commit to this. I think the pastor called three times… and then my friend called. I explained to her that I plan “in pencil” these days, because we never know when we will be called upon to help with my grandmother or my niece’s family, which includes three babies. And sure enough, "life happened," and I would not have been able to sub for this friend.
I know women who seem to be superhuman… serving on half a dozen committees in their church and community while holding down a fulltime job and managing the care of more than one child and a husband. I used to do a lot more when I was in my twenties and thirties than I can accomplish now in my fifties. But at the same time… I am more cognizant of doing a better job on fewer tasks than trying to spread myself too thinly. AND… what I choose to do is really my business. But we all like to judge… to look at the other guy and say, “He/she could have said that so much better,” or “He/she could be doing a lot more…” or “He/she must not care about XYZ.” And all the while, our underwear is hanging out of our waistband.
We must be careful to consider our judgments of others… to ask ourselves, “What are my own shortcomings?” and to use this moment to rein in our own critical attitudes. At the same time, we cannot totally discount what others say to us… or about us. Use these moments to assess where you are in life... to serve as a checkpoint to determine if you truly are on course and operating in God’s will. If the answer is “Yes,” you can proceed with peace and assurance. If, however, you discover that someone was trying to tell you that your underwear is hanging out of your waistband, it might be time to wash the smudges of arrogance from your face and pay attention!
The bottom line is that we need to be more careful about what we say and do… more willing to give the other guy the benefit of the doubt… more forgiving. We need to offer more grace and mercy to others, because we probably need hefty doses for ourselves! We need to ask God for strength and wisdom… and the presence of His hand over our mouth more often than we care to admit! Otherwise, we’re liable to walk out the door with our underwear hanging out of our waistband… and nobody to blame but ourselves.
©2013 Debbie Robus
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