Showing posts with label
offering grace and mercy to others.
Show all posts
Showing posts with label
offering grace and mercy to others.
Show all posts
2 Samuel 24:14
“This is a hard decision,” David
replied, “but it is better to fall into the hand of the Lord (for his
mercy is great) than into the hands of men.”
The
Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by
permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois
60188. All rights reserved.
“I made a mistake.” “My bad.”
“I shouldn’t have said/done that.” “I messed up.”
“That was wrong of me.” “It was my fault.”
“I wish I could take that back.” “I was wrong.”
“May I have a second chance?” “I’m sorry.”
We’ve
all uttered at least one (and probably ALL) of these phrases at one
time or another. But that doesn’t mean we liked it! We often find it
hard to admit that we were mistaken or made a mess of things. It’s
embarrassing…sometimes shameful. And often, there are consequences.
In
this chapter of 2 Samuel, we learn about a really poor choice that
David made. He sent representatives to take a census…to number (count)
the people of Israel. He specifically wanted to know how many men were
of conscription age – old enough to join his army. God had not
sanctioned any of this…He had not told David to do this. In fact, David
knew that God was not in favor of such a show of human strength. Bottom line…David just wanted to brag about how many men he had available for war. And God was not the least bit pleased.
So
God offered David three choices…7 years of famine, three months on the
run from his enemies, or three days of plague. David chose the three
days of plague, and 70,000 people lost their lives as a result. God
could have allowed even a larger number of people to die, but He had
mercy before the three days was up and ordered the death angel to
retreat. The people of Jerusalem were spared.
I don’t know
about you, but if God offered me those same three choices, I would be
tempted to answer, “None of the above!” There was no good option for
David. But notice that he responded that any punishment from a merciful
God would be far better than the consequences of man. David had no
clue that God would spare Jerusalem or lighten the punishment. But he
trusted that God would be fair and just, no matter what.
I
believe that the treatment David received from God in this instance made
Him a better man and taught him priceless lessons about how to behave
in the future…toward God AND toward his fellow man. We can take these
lessons to heart, as well…
- We need to question our motives. Are we making a choice because this is what we want…or are we certain that God agrees and sanctions this decision?
- When we make a mistake, we need to own it…and do whatever is necessary to make things right as quickly as possible.
- Staying
in tune with God will help to ensure that we don’t make mistakes…but
when we do, we need to be prepared to accept the consequences. We must
trust that God will never desert us - even while we suffer for our sins -
and that He will help us through these times with grace and mercy.
- We
must offer others that same grace, mercy, forgiveness, and compassion.
People will offend us…they will make mistakes that affect us in ways
great and small. And when they own these wrongdoings and admit them, we
must be prepared to offer them the same love and fair treatment that
God offers us when we sin against Him.
I will be the
first to admit that I have a lot of work to do in this area. I need to
listen to God more as I make all kinds of choices. I need to be ready
to offer others the same grace and mercy that God affords me. I must
make a concerted effort to let others know that I am not a doormat - but
I won’t desert them the first time they make a mistake, either…and when
they must suffer consequences for their actions, I will encourage them
every step of the way.
God could have just taken David out and
washed His hands of him and his antics. But He didn’t…and He won’t do
this with us, either. How will we respond to this much love, grace and
mercy? How will you share these gifts with others?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Luke 15:24
This son of mine was dead, but has now come back to life. He was lost and has now been found.” And they began to celebrate.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Forty-six-year-old
Lacey Wildd has undergone 35 plastic surgeries, including 12 breast
augmentations that have enlarged her to a size LLL. Despite protests
from her six children, she recently underwent surgery to remove fat from
various places on her body – including her eyelids - and to inject four
pounds of it into her backside. She will now have to sleep on a
specially designed mattress with a “cut-out” to accommodate her
enlargements. She also got a “nose job”. Wildd makes public
appearances for a living and said she hopes to become an “extreme adult
Barbie”.
After surgery, Wild’s daughter Tori, a college
sophomore, tearfully said, “I just hope she can open her eyes.” Her
26-year-old son, Silas, stroked her hair and said, “You’ve really done
it this time, Mom.” He told an interviewer, “We kinda have to suffer
through the consequences with her.” Tori put her “battle” aside while
her mom recuperates…but this woman’s antics are clearly taking a toll on
the family. One wonders how many times her children will go with her
to the surgeries (because she does plan to have even more!)…and how long
they will continue to welcome her back into their lives as she persists
to make herself look even more extreme and cartoon-like.
Do you
ever have a day when you truly want to give up? Your friendship or
relationship is in the pits, and you feel like it would be easier to
throw up your hands, walk away and start over with new friends or
another partner. Maybe someone in your life keeps doing things you feel
are really crazy (like Lacey Wildd), and you wonder how much longer you
can support them. Your kids/parents/grandparents are driving you nuts
with their comments and antics, and you feel like you just can’t take it
any longer. Perhaps you are like the man in this scripture passage
whose brother wandered away and wasted his money (and potentially his
very life) on “wild living”… you are fed up and disgusted – and maybe
even done!
If you go back and start reading at Luke 15:11,
you will see that the son realized his mistake and decided to go to his
father and ask forgiveness. And when the father saw this long lost son
coming toward him, he dropped everything and ran to him with open
arms. He ordered the best calf to be killed for a feast, and he gave
him new, clean clothes to wear. He told everyone that his son had
returned…that it was time for a celebration.
Could you do this?
If someone stole from you, hurt you deeply, or just went nuts and did
things that were embarrassing and ridiculous – then came to you and humbly
asked forgiveness - could you allow them back into your life? Could you
forgive so readily and even throw them a party? Now let me ask this in
a different way. Think about your own life and the mistakes you have
made. What if you humbled yourself before God and asked for His
forgiveness…and He refused you? What if God ignored your sincere
apologies and vows to turn over a new leaf and do better? Can you even
imagine it?
We take God’s grace, mercy, and forgiveness for granted. We assume that God will always
be there for us, no matter what! And honestly, as born-again believers
in Jesus Christ, this is true. It doesn’t mean we should “test the
waters” or take advantage of God’s love and kindness…but we do have the
assurance that He will do this for us. So we have the confidence that
nothing can separate us from God’s love.
But do we offer this
same level of love, forgiveness, grace and mercy to others…and in doing
so, do we demonstrate God’s unconditional love and care to others? Do
we extend a welcoming hand…do we greet someone who is truly repentant
with a hug and a kiss and celebrate their new beginning? Are we willing
to put the past in the past and move forward? In this parable from
Luke 15, you see that the older son actually protested all of the
festivities. He pointed out to his father how he had done everything right…how he had been obedient and trustworthy…and no party had ever been given on his behalf.
Here’s my take on the point of his father’s response…God doesn’t give up on us, so we should not be so quick to give up on others.
God doesn’t love those who are obedient and faithful any more…or any
less. He does not take your loyalty and devotion for granted. He loves
you and relishes His relationship with you. But God wants this same
kind of relationship with your “brother” or “sister”, too. Each one of
us is incredibly important to God. So when one of us “stinkers” comes
back to Him, God is ready to open His arms, greet us with a hug, kiss
and new beginning – and truly throw a party.
Let’s be real
here…this is great news! On any given day, you or I could be the wild
and crazy person… or the “stinker”. Let’s hope none of us goes off the
deep end with plastic surgeries! The children of this woman will have a
big challenge ahead of them as they figure out how to live with their
mother’s appearance - and how to love and accept her in spite of it.
But God can help them figure this out. And He can help us persevere and
walk in love, grace, mercy and forgiveness toward others.
God
can use us to reveal Himself to others…and even throw a party in their
honor. Are you at a point in your relationship with Him where this is
possible? Isn’t it time you were?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Zechariah 7:8-10
Then this message came to Zechariah from the Lord: “This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another. Do not oppress widows, orphans, foreigners, and the poor. And do not scheme against each other.
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Andrew Solomon, author of Far From the Tree, recently interviewed Peter Lanza for a piece in The New Yorker magazine. Lanza is the father of Adam Lanza, the shooter at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, in December 2012. Far From the Tree is a book about children who are different from their parents...and how these parents cope with their children and the challenges they present. In some cases, the children became criminals - like Adam Lanza.
Andrew Solomon noted that Peter Lanza has (understandably) struggled with what happened at Newtown, where Adam also killed his mother (Lanza's ex-wife Nancy) before killing himself. Lanza has made the comment that he now wishes that Adam had never been born...and he apparently claims that he doesn't mourn Adam's death.
I am trying to understand this…to put myself in the shoes of Peter Lanza. There are reports that parents of some of Adam Lanza’s victims have approached Peter and told him that they forgive Adam…but Peter apparently cannot accept this compassion and mercy. And again, I think I can somewhat understand those feelings. Peter Lanza must surely feel incredibly guilty - and ask himself daily what could have been done to prevent this horrific event. Adam Lanza suffered from Asperger’s syndrome – a form of autism – and may have also been schizophrenic. I don’t say this to excuse his heinous crimes…but I do propose that his parents might have done everything humanly possible to keep Adam and everyone else safe – and still, this happened. Some things are simply beyond our control.
I think what struck me about this story – and this scripture passage from Zechariah – is that we must learn not to question things so much…or maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Instead of asking “Why, LORD?” or “Why me?”…let’s ask, “What are You doing with this?” Let’s look at how God can use all circumstances in our lives for HIS purposes…and let’s operate with fairness, mercy and kindness in every situation. Instead of asking God why He allowed a man or woman to die and leave a spouse, let’s ask, “What can I do for the widows in my church or community? How can I help them?” Instead of shaking our heads and wagging our tongues about orphans and foster children and their plight, let’s roll up our sleeves and ask, “What needs to be done for these children?” Let’s discover how God can use these innocents to enrich OUR lives as we minister to them.
Rather than be so upset about “foreigners” and the poor among us…let’s work on how to help them. What if we asked God to show us how we are supposed to respond and react toward these people for HIS glory, rather than gripe and grumble about their presence…and make things even worse for them?! Suppose we got busy asking the right questions and learning about others and their needs…then worked to find solutions and ways to truly help.
Instead of trying to figure out how to get even with others…or how to outsmart “the system”…suppose we worked together with love, compassion, grace, mercy and forgiveness – and found real, viable solutions and ways to share Jesus’ love with others. Understand that I am NOT saying we shouldn’t look for ways to keep guns out of the hands of children and others who might use them for evil. I do not mean to imply that we should turn and look the other way…and just “let the chips fall” – or excuse true laziness or an illegal or immoral act. But I do believe we must quit trying to wish away unpleasant or difficult people and circumstances - and face them head-on…“with the full armor of God”.
Jesus never shied away from anyone or any situation. In Jesus Christ, we find the perfect demonstration of how to conduct our own lives…and how to serve Him in the process. We have work to do! It’s time to get up and get going…to be about the business of loving others in Jesus’ name and sharing His Good News. Are you awake and alert? Is your heart filled with compassion, grace, mercy and forgiveness through Jesus? Are you really ready for the work of serving others? Isn’t it time you were?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Hebrews 4:14-16
Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Our little niece Zola is the “poster child” for “I can do it myself!” Try to help her with a drinking straw so she doesn’t spill her milk, and she will wrestle you with the brute strength of a grown man! Cut up her food into manageable bites, and she might burst into tears and have a “meltdown”! Four months shy of her third birthday, she cannot comprehend that we adults have “been there, done that” and might know a thing or two about how to help her. We’re not trying to be bossy…we are actually acting out of mercy for her dilemma - and potential for peril!
Can I be honest? We are often no better than a two-year-old who is still growing and learning. The problem is…we should know better by now! There are times when we all could use a little help…the compassion and empathy of someone who has been through what we are experiencing…a hand up or a handout…or just an extra set of hands for a little while. Sure…there are those who take advantage of the generosity of others…but hopefully, you’re not one of them!
Don’t assume that others will think you are weak…or incapable…or that they will pity you in some way. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you lose a loved one, and a friend or relative shows up at your house to help answer the phone, wash dishes, do laundry, answer the door… or simply give you a hug… don’t assume that you have inconvenienced that person – or that he/she thinks you can’t handle your own affairs. Do not rob them of the blessing of serving you!
If someone says, “Let me know if I can help you”… LET.THEM.KNOW.IF.THEY.CAN.HELP.YOU!! Do not try to be the hero or the martyr. Take them at their word - and assume they mean it. If what you ask is something that others are not comfortable helping with…or they cannot accommodate your schedule…give them the chance to say so. And never cease to ask others to pray for you. Most people do not have E.S.P. - they cannot telepathically determine that you are in need of special prayer or assistance. Give them the chance to lift you to the LORD…to join the voices of others in reminding Him that you are precious and in need of His tender care.
Imagine if you kept your needs to yourself and never shared them with God. There are indeed people who say, “God’s too busy to bother with this or that.” Nothing could be further from the truth! God is NEVER too busy to hear any request you may present…no matter how small it seems to you. And as Disciples of Christ…we are called to help others…to hear their requests…and to do what we can to share Jesus’ love with them.
You have been given a unique set of experiences and “gifts” that are to be shared with others. By the same token…others have been equipped to share “gifts” and experiences with YOU. Christian Discipleship is a “give-and-take” relationship. Are you fully participating? Are you blessing others with your acts of compassion and mercy…and are you giving them the chance to do the same for you? How will you respond the next time someone extends compassion and empathy to you? Will you accept the mercy and take the help? Don’t you think you should?
©2014 Debbie Robus
1 Thessalonians 5:15
And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
My cousin recommended a book to me that was written by Christian speaker and author Lysa Terkeurst, titled Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions. Terkeurst begins the book by describing an incident in which she stepped out of her shower to discover that there were no clean towels. She knew her daughters liked the thick thirsty towels she and her husband kept in their master bath, and she immediately assumed that the girls had used their shower and helped themselves to the towels. So she went on a rampage… the girls were told to never, never, ever use her bathroom shower – or her towels – again! She later learned that her son was responsible for the missing towels, and she lay in bed that night rehashing her earlier outburst – and feeling guilty and ashamed.
Terkeurst explains explosive outbursts (or snapping at each other) as something we often regret… something that feels good in the moment - but terrible afterward. We then operate in shame – for ourselves or others… or we stuff our feelings and build walls around them. Sometimes those “walls” become more like fortresses! Some of us are “stuffers” who push down our emotions and reactions initially… then deal with the ramifications later (often rather poorly)! The author shares about an airline employee who snapped at her over a piece of lost luggage. Terkeurst did not raise her voice or “snap” at the employee per se, but she got her point across with a rather sharp comment that she later regretted. I’ve done this myself… haven’t you?
So what do we do about this? The author maintains that our regret signals awareness that this is not Godly behavior and can open the door for us to do better as we move forward. We are not necessarily bad people because of our outbursts… but this type of conduct is not what God desires for us. God does not want His disciples to go through life with their feelings on their sleeves… or “letting it all hang out!” But we are all human – and imperfect… so He stands ready to offer us with grace when we fall short.
Is this a license to snap at others and tell them how you really feel… to let your displeasure and/or disapproval be readily known whenever a situation arises? Absolutely not! But God wants us to realize that He loves us even when we are unlovely or misbehave. And that is the point… we are to extend this same grace to others… to look for their best and always do what we can to bring this out in them. We find peace when we operate in grace… when we strive to be more like our Heavenly Father.
I am right there with this author… when I say something unkind or offer a quick retort, I tend to beat myself up and feel terrible – even if I apologized to the other person. This is not who I am… who I want to be. Like her, I think of Godly people I know and tell myself, “So-and-so would never do that!” What I need to do instead is to use these opportunities to remind myself how much I need continual dialogue with God… how much I need to call on God for the ability to do better. I need to be more aware of my quick retorts and sharp comebacks… and I need to thank God for the grace He extends when I falter.
We are all works in progress. God is looking for forward advancement… disciples who continually seek Him and call on Him to extend grace… to them – and through them to others in their path. Are you paying attention to your words and actions? Are you operating in God’s grace? Do you have His peace and contentment in your life? Aren’t you ready for a hefty dose? Study this passage and the verses that surround it. You might even want to pick up a copy of Unglued for yourself! But learn to operate in God’s peace and ditch the snappy comebacks. Everyone will be better for your efforts!
©2013 Debbie Robus
Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst~©2012 Zondervan Press
Romans 2:5-11
You’re not getting by with anything. Every refusal and avoidance of God adds fuel to the fire. The day is coming when it’s going to blaze hot and high, God’s fiery and righteous judgment. Make no mistake: In the end you get what’s coming to you—Real Life for those who work on God’s side, but to those who insist on getting their own way and take the path of least resistance, Fire!
If you go against the grain, you get splinters, regardless of which neighborhood you’re from, what your parents taught you, what schools you attended. But if you embrace the way God does things, there are wonderful payoffs, again without regard to where you are from or how you were brought up. Being a Jew won’t give you an automatic stamp of approval. God pays no attention to what others say (or what you think) about you. He makes up his own mind.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
The news media is reporting that Peter Stefan, a funeral director for Graham Putnam & Mahoney Funeral Parlors in Worcester, Massachusetts, cannot find a cemetery that will permit the burial of Boston bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev. Stefan’s funeral home has prepared Tsarnaev’s body for a Muslim burial (the tenets of Islam forbid cremation), but no one will help them find a plot for interment. According to Josh Slocum, executive director of the Funeral Consumers Alliance, Stefan is known for giving a proper sendoff to those who are downtrodden or scourged by society. Slocum said, “"He was the only one who would bury gay men dead of AIDS back in the 80s. He did funerals for slain prostitutes that everyone else treated like some sort of subhuman trash.” And now, Stefan wants someone to come forward and help him bury an alleged terrorist.
We have to ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?” And if we are Disciples of Christ, what should we do? “But this man was involved in the killing of three people and the wounding of more than 200,” you are probably saying. “He doesn’t deserve a ‘decent burial’.” I heard someone say that they lost any sense of compassion for this man when they saw the photos of him apparently placing a deadly bomb next to 8-year-old Martin Richard, knowing that little Martin’s life would be taken. “Who does that?!” this person asked me. And I agree… this is incomprehensible. But how many of us have looked the other way as young children went hungry or were mistreated… perhaps even abused? How many of us have looked at a court system overflowing with foster children in need of services and walked away, saying, “That’s not my problem!”?
Do you see that this is not about whether someone is Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, Atheist, Hindu or any other non-Christian religion? Do you see that it’s not even about the horrific crime of setting off a bomb in a crowd of onlookers at a major event? Jesus didn’t say, “Only love other Christians and treat them as you would wish to be treated.” He told us to love.one.another and do.unto.others.as.you.would.have.them.do.unto.you! Most of us would bury a stray animal we found in our yard… so why would we not bury a known terrorist? I totally understand that the burial of this young man will likely spark at least the potential for a media circus... as well as protests and vandalism at the cemetery where his body is laid to rest. And I would not wish that on the cemeteries where my loved ones are buried. So I do understand that there is a "public dilemma" here. But there has to be a way to handle this with human dignity and Christian compassion. How do you look the other way when you see someone who is hungry, cold, frightened, sick, hurting, or otherwise in need? How do you square that with God on Judgment Day?
This is really not about the Boston bombing and its principals… nor do I mean to spark an argument about who and what are right in this particular situation. My bigger argument is that we cannot pick and choose. We can’t make excuses based on our parentage, where and how we grew up, or what our socio-economic status was – or is today. We can’t claim, “Do you know who I am?” or even “Do you know what I’ve been through and where I came from?” and then live as we please. We can’t pick and choose who to help in the name of Jesus. It is not up to us to decide who is important or deserving… or when it is comfortable and convenient for us to serve. What we are called to decide is to get up off our duffs and minister wherever and however God calls us!
I believe God can take even the most heinous situation and use it for His glory. So let’s take this tragic bombing and the subsequent fallout and examine our own lives and Discipleship. Let’s ask ourselves, am I a “selective Christian” who only serves those who appeal to me – and only when it’s convenient? Or am I so focused on serving God that no opportunity to do so seems too great or small… too ugly or distasteful… too annoying or bothersome? Clearly, Peter Stefan understands that God has called him to serve others at the end of their lives. He can do nothing for the young bomber who has died… but his acts of love, grace and mercy might be the very example that brings others to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. And we cannot discount the potential for victory in this!
When I was teaching Jr. High Sunday school, my students used to get upset with me because I said that all who invite Jesus into their hearts will be with Him for Eternity. “Oh, surely you don’t mean tyrants like Hitler and Saddam Hussein!” they would say. My response was… “Remember the thief on the cross. If those men gave their hearts to Jesus before they died, I believe that you will see them someday in heaven!” The students were mortified! And I think we will be surprised at a few of the people we see (and don’t see) in heaven!
We will also be surprised at some of the questions God asks us about how we served in this earthly life! Excuses will not be tolerated. We will have none that are acceptable. It is up to us to make the choice now to listen closely to what God is telling us…and to serve Him exactly as He directs. And that includes showing love, grace and mercy to all whom He has created, regardless of their faith and/or “station” in life. When you stand before God and answer for your Discipleship, what will you have to say for yourself? What will God have to say to you?
©2013 Debbie Robus
Romans 14:1
Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
This evening we attended a regional basketball tournament at our local high school gym. Our senior high girls team was competing. It never fails… fans on both sides of the court are always unhappy with the referees - and the games tonight were no exception. Every time the refs did something the fans didn’t agree with, someone would jump out of his/her seat – or yell something loud and ugly. At one point, a player fell to the court and appeared to be hurt… and the referee called a foul on one of our team members for stepping on her. A fan behind me stood up and yelled something to the ref about how the girl charged with the foul was “just walking.” I wanted to turn around and say, “Really? If that were your daughter lying on the court, your attitude would be 100% different!”
Granted, there have been all sorts of sporting events where the officiating truly was terrible… toward both sides. But most of the time, the calls all even out - with just about the same percentage of good and bad calls made for each side. There are plenty of times when we fans do not like a call made by a referee… and do we ever tell them! We “hand them our glasses” so they can see what they missed. We yell and scream, boo and stomp our feet. In general, we treat these folks poorly. We never consider that these are husbands, fathers, grandfathers, mothers, sisters, or brothers who live and work among us by day… and call sporting events on the side for a few extra bucks. Referees are not just under-appreciated – they are often truly despised.
I’m afraid this is exactly how we treat many of our fellow believers. We decide before the game ever starts, so to speak, that they are not in our league. They are mistaken because they don’t see everything our way. Or we figure that they must be weak in their faith…because the things they say and do clearly indicate they are not as pure as we are. We fail to consider that not everyone is where we are in their faith walk. Not everyone has gone through the “stuff” we’ve gone through… or been taught and tested like we have. It might just be that the other guy has endured a whole lot more than we have… more than we can ever imagine… and he/she simply handled it differently than we would have. It doesn’t mean they are wrong… or less of a Christian. We fail to recognize that fellow believers are people just like us… with hopes and dreams, insecurities and heartaches, and a deep desire for acceptance - just like us.
At the end of the day, we all need to treat each other more gently. We need to recognize that we are unique individuals… each with our own story… and each incredibly precious to God. His arms are open wide to welcome every single one of us! Shouldn’t our arms and hearts be open, too?
©2013 Debbie Robus
Colossians 3:12-13
God loves you and has chosen you as his own special people. So be gentle, kind, humble, meek, and patient. Put up with each other, and forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
For the last few years, I’ve studied The Purpose Driven Life, by Pastor Rick Warren, during the forty days of Lent. As I read the lesson for today, I found this quote… “When life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable.” I thought about my own life and how things have changed. A few years ago, I would never have dreamed that I would “put up with” toys scattered all over my house, crumbs on the floor, and a bedroom décor that included a crib, playpen, diapers, children’s toiletries, and stuffed animals. And then our nephews and great-niece came along and changed everything.
We had welcomed nieces and nephews to our family before. I kept a small box of children’s toys tucked away in the closet for when they occasionally visited. Ours was a “grown-up” world where we watched documentaries and paid close attention to world news, took hikes into nearby parks, bought vintage treasures at auctions, and slept late. Now, toys are stored along one wall of our living room, we watch almost as much NickJr. and PBS Kids as national news, “play” in local parks, and shop for second-hand toys, clothes and books. Sleep late? Probably not if there is a toddler in the house!
Our lives were perfectly complete before these children came along. We found meaning and purpose in the projects we pursued, time spent with our family and friends, and serving others through church and community projects. But as I pick raisins and cereal from the living room rug or scrub a dirty high chair tray coated with spaghetti and carrots, I think about these precious children. Any momentary irritation or frustration with their messy behaviors dissipates. I watched a screaming toddler at Wal-Mart one afternoon. I recognized his “melt-down” as I heard his mother say that it was naptime. He had “hit the wall” and totally run out of gas… and he had no clue how to handle this except to scream and cry.
There was a time when I would have been frustrated and aggravated by this noise and interruption to my shopping experience. I would have probably wondered to myself, “Why doesn’t this mother do something with her child?!” Now I get it… I’ve experienced some of these sudden-onset meltdowns, and I know how embarrassing they can be for the mom – and how frustrating they are for the child. I recognize the opportunity that my husband and I have been granted to participate in the early growth and nurture of our own little ones’ lives. My heart has softened with love and compassion for them… and acceptance of this new “life purpose!” I pray that God will help me to always operate in kindness, gentleness and patience!
When I thought about the scripture passage for today in this context, I considered what God must think about us. We are His children… and He “puts up with” each one. Yes, many of our actions and behaviors are juvenile… irritating and frustrating to Him. Still, God forgives us… He sees the potential that lies within each of His children. He may at times be firm or mete out consequences when we need them. But God is also gentle, kind, and patient with us. As Pastor Warren points out, “God specializes in giving people a fresh start.”
So as we encounter people who irritate us… as life changes and we are thrust into unfamiliar, uncomfortable – or even seemingly unbearable – situations… we must remember that God has given us a purpose. He has chosen us as His own special people, and it is up to us to find meaning in each setting and circumstance. Sometimes you may have to dig pretty deeply! There may be people who totally rub you the wrong way… those whose presence drives you bonkers and truly seems intrusive or unbearable. Remember… others may also feel the same way about you!
God sees something in each of us that others may not see. If He is willing to “put up with” us and grant us a fresh start, how can we do any less for others? Isn’t today a good day to examine your heart - and your life’s meaning and purpose… to discover where you need to treat others with a little patience, kindness, compassion and forgiveness? Maybe you need a fresh start… or maybe you need to offer one to someone else (at least in your heart). Wouldn’t this be a great day for both?
©2013 Debbie Robus
Luke 17:3-4
“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
The other night, Timothy was sitting at the table drinking a cup of milk. He was holding his “Puff” – a loosely stuffed toy Puffalump bear that had been his mother’s when she was little. He said, “Aunt Debbie, Puff keeps hitting me in the head!” I told him to ask Puff to stop. He replied, “I did, and he keeps hitting me.” So I suggested that perhaps Puff should sit in another chair in “time out” until he could be nice. Timmy had an adorable conversation with “Puff,” lovingly chastising him and explaining why he had to go to “time out.” After a minute or so, he asked if Puff could come out again. I asked, “Is he ready to be nice?” He took Puff in his hands and asked, “Puff, did you think about what you did? Do you think you are ready to be nice?” Apparently Puff said “Yes”… but a few seconds later, he was “hitting” Timmy again and had to return to the chair!
This was a game… and a bit of role playing on Timothy’s part. He wants to please… and when he misbehaves, he is always sorry – for the moment. But at 3½, he is still sorting through how to honor his commitments. So we are quick to forgive him. But part of good “parenting” or teaching is making sure you forgive the child… but do not forget nor endorse the transgression. In other words, I can forgive Timothy’s “Puff” all day long for hitting him, but I cannot tolerate this behavior – and there will have to be consequences.
Here’s a grown-up example… in the book Adult Children of Alcoholics, author Janet Geringer Woititz, Ed.D., writes of alcoholics (and others) who ask for forgiveness…”The promises of reform, although shortlived, are believed because those who care want to believe them, and, as a result, they unknowingly become part of the disease pattern.” In other words, we want to forgive others… we are commanded to do so in scripture. But as a dear pastor friend of mine reminds me, there is a fine line between enabling and helping.
What does this mean for us as Christians? How do we know when we are truly operating in forgiveness… and when we have crossed the line into enabling? I am not sure I have an answer for you… but God does. We must stay in very close contact with God… we must study scriptures on forgiveness and fairness. We most certainly must not judge others. At the same time, we have to be very sure that the “offender” is forgiven and loved… but not supported in wrongdoing or poor judgment. In other words, as with Timothy or his toy, we may hug the child or the bear and tell them we love them – and then march them off to sit in a “time out” chair!
I have thought a lot about this as I studied these scripture passages on forgiveness. I have asked myself… “What does this scenario look like in terms of me as the offender and Jesus as the One who is being asked to forgive? What happens if He turns His back on me… and why doesn’t He do this?” I have concluded that Jesus never fails me, even when I deserve it. But sometimes He allows me to wallow in my own screw-ups for a while, so that I learn from my mistakes. And maybe that is the answer for us today. We must be careful to remain nonjudgmental… but maybe we are called to say, “You messed up, buddy… you’ll have to make restitution for this. There will have to be some fences mended – and trust will have to be regained over time. But I still love you… and I forgive you.”
You don’t necessarily have to forgive others in person. You do have to forgive them in your heart. Hear me well on this… unforgiveness will eat a hole in your soul – and it could separate you from God. I can’t say for certain that God will not forgive us when we don’t forgive others, but scripture makes it pretty clear that it’s not worth taking the chance! Ask God to give you a spirit of wisdom… and courage. When someone has behaved wrongly – whether toward you or someone else – forgive him/her in a spirit of love, grace and mercy. If you do this in person, extend forgiveness to the offender… but also offer to help him/her figure out how to move forward and rectify the situation once and for all.
One more thing… forgiveness is not about YOU… it’s totally about being obedient to God with regard to how you treat others. Do not make this about your feelings… how hurt or offended you are by this person. Jesus doesn’t do this. He doesn’t say, “After all I did for you, this is how you repay Me?” He may think it – and He would have every right to lower the boom on us – but this is where we see His amazing grace and mercy in play. So we must stay focused on helping this person who needs forgiveness to align his/her heart – and actions – with God. Remember that God knows you are hurting and offended…and He cares for you, as well. But if we are modeling Christian behavior, we will ask Him to help us put our feelings aside and focus on the needs of others.
Today is a great day to ask God to show us how to give the “Puffs” of our lives another chance at redemption without helping to push them further over the edge. Jesus is our Helper… not our enabler. Model Him to others and see just how richly God will reward you for doing so. Do this to honor Jesus and His amazing, unending capacity to offer grace, mercy, love and forgiveness to us. Forgive others over and again for His glory… and begin to heal your own heart in the process.
©2013 Debbie Robus
February 7 ~ James 2:12-13
There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.
Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Recently, my husband and I watched our high school's girls basketball team win by a margin of almost 50 points. In the fourth period, the “mercy rule” was employed by the officials, meaning the clock did not stop running for free throws, time outs, or any other break in the game. The idea behind this rule is that the losing team is so far behind that it will be impossible to catch up… and running up the score does nothing but add insult to injury.
I would venture to say that God enacts the “mercy rule” pretty often in each of our lives. I’m fairly certain there are times when we are all in such deep trouble that there appears to be no way to dig out – except by the mercy and grace of God. This is not to say that we can do as we please and expect God to rescue us… nor is it to say that we should allow others to run roughshod over us with abuses and mistreatments.
No one wants to be another person’s doormat. But let me tell you… God absolutely will not become OUR doormats, either. He will offer mercy to us when we are genuinely repentant… but He will not tolerate our disrespect or arrogance. We can’t keep falling short and expecting God to go easy on us! And neither can we beg for His mercy, then turn around and fail to offer this same understanding to others.
There are times when we need to take a step back and “let the chips fall where they may.” But there are also times when we should have stepped up and shown mercy to others… and we chose not to do so. Nobody ever said offering mercy to others was easy… or uncomplicated. How do you know when to show mercy… and when to step away? There is no simple answer to this question. The best advice I can offer is to prayerfully discuss this with God. Seek His will and His guidance… and trust that the direction in which He leads you is the right one.
©2013 Debbie Robus
1 Peter 2:13-17
Make the Master proud of you by being good citizens. Respect the authorities, whatever their level; they are God’s emissaries for keeping order. It is God’s will that by doing good, you might cure the ignorance of the fools who think you’re a danger to society. Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules. Treat everyone you meet with dignity. Love your spiritual family. Revere God. Respect the government.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Recently on a national cable news program, elected officials from my home state were featured… and not in a good light. These men were making some pretty radical statements…lodging criticisms that were unfair, at best – and in at least one instance, inaccurate. I was embarrassed – not only by these people, but also by the fact that they have in any way colored others’ impression of people from my area.
I did not vote for these men, and I do not agree with their positions. However, I am mandated by God to love them… to behave respectfully toward them and refrain from calling them names or criticizing them personally. They have a right to their beliefs. Do I think that what they propose is good for our state or country? Absolutely not! If their mandates are enacted by a majority vote, I won’t like it. But I will do my best to behave honorably and work within our democratic system to bring about changes. And I will trust God to handle the rest.
I have been amazed and deeply saddened by the comments I have seen and heard from people who claim to be disciples of Christ - mentors in our schools, communities and churches – who have spoken unkindly (and in some cases downright hatefully) about our government and its leaders. You cannot call an elected official a hateful name and then expect children and students of all ages to refrain from name calling in their daily living. You can’t blame the government, the President, or even your city council representative for everything that is wrong in your life, then assume that people will believe you when you say you have faith in God to handle the worries of your day.
In our country, we operate under the tenets of a democracy, which means the majority rule. As individuals, we are not always going to be a part of that majority. This is when we have to trust God to handle what we cannot. We can’t reverse the results of elections… but we can trust God to handle things - regardless of the outcome.
We may feel we have very sound reasons for disliking an elected official and/or the way our government is being run. But God still expects us to show respect. God commands us to honor Him… to follow the rules, serve Him, and trust His ability to handle all things on our behalf. God requires us to love one another – even those who didn’t get our vote. We must behave with dignity, use common sense, and focus on our roles as Disciples of Christ. Some of us have lost sight of this. It’s time we took a serious look at how well we offer grace, mercy and forgiveness to others… even those who didn’t get our vote!
©2013 Debbie Robus
Mark 11-25-26
And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it’s not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive—only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
When I taught kindergarten, I had to occasionally tell a student, “We don’t say that,” or “We don’t do that. It is rude… or unkind… or disrespectful.” More often than I care to admit, the child replied, “But my mom/dad/someone else does it!” If ever there was an emphasis on the point that people are watching – and noticing – this is it! So when we represent Jesus to others… we had better be very certain that our slate is clean… because I guarantee you that God is watching and listening!
What does this mean in terms of our daily living and forgiveness? For starters, we can’t talk one way in our home or among a circle of our closest friends… and talk another when we are in public. We can’t be nice to someone while they stand before us, and call them an ugly name when they turn to walk away. Just because you don’t use four-letter words in public doesn’t mean people don’t know… and most certainly God hears them!
We can’t serve in ministries – organized or individual – and ask God to bless our efforts if we are harboring ill will toward someone else. We can’t go to God in prayer and ask Him to bless us and those whose names we lift, then disrespect our parents, teachers, bosses, coaches, our elected officials, or even the guy who ran a red light and rammed into our car! Comments like “I’ll make her pay” or “He will wish he had never heard of me” have no place in the life of a Christian. Name calling is never appropriate… and grieves God. Remember Jesus’ words that when we do these unto the least of His brethren, we have done them to Him!
When we show disrespect or speak unkindly toward another person, we fail to offer him/her forgiveness for whatever offense we feel he/she committed. We won’t like every person we meet. I will be the first to tell you that there are people who rub me the wrong way… some who have insulted me… and even a few I try to avoid. We are not going to agree with – or like – every person in the world. But we must still offer them forgiveness and compassion.
Believe me… I know it’s a hard thing to do! When you think of someone who irritates or offends you, try saying, “LORD… I don’t know what it is about this person that makes him/her act this way… or why I let it bother me so much. Please forgive me... and grant me a spirit of forgiveness. Help me to let go of this offense and allow YOU to have control.” This is a prayer I will most certainly offer more than once. But as I begin to allow God to build a spirit of forgiveness into my heart, I will hopefully get better at practicing grace, mercy and tolerance… and my prayers will become more genuine and unencumbered by my own misgivings.
Life as a disciple of Christ is not easy. It requires us to stay awake and alert for any attempts by the devil to trip us up. And when it comes to unforgiveness, we’re often pretty easy marks! If you want to be more like Jesus, you’ve got to check your words, actions… and yes, your feelings. God knows your heart. He knows when you are genuinely operating from the heart… and when you are offering lip service and false pretenses. Search your heart today for pockets of unforgiveness and offense. Clean the slate… and ask God to help you keep it that way.
©2013 Debbie Robus
Matthew 18:21-22
At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”
Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
A few years ago, I backed my car out of a parking spot one afternoon… and promptly hit the back of another car that had just pulled into a slot directly behind me. I never saw the other car until I heard the awful crash. The only damage was a broken tail light on that car…no one was hurt. However, my grandmother was a passenger in my car, and she made sure I knew that I was making her late for her beauty shop appointment… and that she surely hoped I had not hurt my husband’s car! Let’s just say she was less than forgiving that I had inconvenienced everyone!
As it turns out, the car I hit was a foreign model, and that “little tail light” cost $1600 to repair. My insurance agent called with the estimate from the body shop, and my heart sank. However, she said, “Since you have a clean driving record and have never had an accident before, this is considered a ‘forgiven one.’ It will not count against your deductible. We’ll take care of everything.” I was more relieved than I can put into words. And I have been incredibly careful since then, because 1) I do not want to have another accident; and 2) there are no second “forgiven ones” with my insurance company!
Aren’t you glad that Jesus doesn’t berate us about the ways we inconvenience Him? Aren’t you thrilled to know that Jesus does not limit His forgiveness to one offense? Don’t you think that we should forgive others as Jesus forgives us? In fact, He has told us that we must forgive seventy times seven! It’s pretty clear to me that we are not supposed to impose a forgiveness quota on others!
The next time you are irritated with someone and tempted to say, “That’s it! I’m done for good!” - consider Jesus’ words to Peter. If you continue reading in Matthew 18, you will see that Jesus makes it clear that we cannot be unforgiving toward others and expect God to forgive us. Furthermore, your “forgiveness” cannot be mere lip service. Jesus tells us to forgive from the heart. I know this is really hard… and God knows this, too. But nobody said the life of a Christian was easy!
Insurance companies may not forgive seventy times seven… but Christian discipleship is nothing like State Farm, Allstate, Geico or Aflac! We are given much by our Heavenly Father. When it comes to how we treat others, much is expected in return. God will strengthen you and give you the courage - and the capacity to forgive over and again, if only you will call on Him. Who needs to be a “forgiven one” in your circle today?
©2013 Debbie Robus
Matthew 7:1-5
“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
My husband and I were watching a sitcom recently in which a couple was getting ready for a party. One partner was criticizing the other… or rather, gently pointing out faults and puffing himself up… and the other was sick and tired of it. So he let his partner know that he was done with the “suggestions.” When he turned around to get something out of a dresser drawer, he had a pair of underwear hanging out of the waistband of his pants. The other guy thought about saying something… but then he remembered how he had just been chastised. He said nothing, and this guy ended up at the party… his extra pair of underwear hanging from his waistband for everyone to see.
This may be a goofy analogy… but hang with me here. First, we don’t know what is truly in another person’s heart …or his/her life. A few months ago, a friend’s pastor called and asked me to sub for her as pianist at a church in a nearby community. My friend was having some medical treatments and needed a little time off. I so wanted to help her… but at the same time, I was terribly busy with my own family, and felt I could not commit to this. I think the pastor called three times… and then my friend called. I explained to her that I plan “in pencil” these days, because we never know when we will be called upon to help with my grandmother or my niece’s family, which includes three babies. And sure enough, "life happened," and I would not have been able to sub for this friend.
I know women who seem to be superhuman… serving on half a dozen committees in their church and community while holding down a fulltime job and managing the care of more than one child and a husband. I used to do a lot more when I was in my twenties and thirties than I can accomplish now in my fifties. But at the same time… I am more cognizant of doing a better job on fewer tasks than trying to spread myself too thinly. AND… what I choose to do is really my business. But we all like to judge… to look at the other guy and say, “He/she could have said that so much better,” or “He/she could be doing a lot more…” or “He/she must not care about XYZ.” And all the while, our underwear is hanging out of our waistband.
We must be careful to consider our judgments of others… to ask ourselves, “What are my own shortcomings?” and to use this moment to rein in our own critical attitudes. At the same time, we cannot totally discount what others say to us… or about us. Use these moments to assess where you are in life... to serve as a checkpoint to determine if you truly are on course and operating in God’s will. If the answer is “Yes,” you can proceed with peace and assurance. If, however, you discover that someone was trying to tell you that your underwear is hanging out of your waistband, it might be time to wash the smudges of arrogance from your face and pay attention!
The bottom line is that we need to be more careful about what we say and do… more willing to give the other guy the benefit of the doubt… more forgiving. We need to offer more grace and mercy to others, because we probably need hefty doses for ourselves! We need to ask God for strength and wisdom… and the presence of His hand over our mouth more often than we care to admit! Otherwise, we’re liable to walk out the door with our underwear hanging out of our waistband… and nobody to blame but ourselves.
©2013 Debbie Robus
1 John 1:9
But if we confess our sins to God, he can always be trusted to forgive us and take our sins away.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Life would be so much easier if we never had personal disagreements. Unfortunately, we’re all human… and things will be said and done from time to time that irritate – or even offend – us and/or the other guy. When this happens, the best thing to do is to quickly make amends – or to at least try. Sadly, even when we apologize for our part in a misunderstanding, the other party may refuse to offer forgiveness.
I am so glad that I don’t have to worry about God holding a grudge against me. If I genuinely and humbly ask Him to forgive me, He does exactly that! He doesn’t refuse to speak to me, or ignore me in public or on social media. He would never fail to answer or return a phone call. He continues to offer me grace and mercy… even when He feels I don’t deserve it. I can count on God to always love me… and to cast my sins as far as East is from West - if I only ask Him to do so.
We really have no control on how another person treats us. It’s pretty much up to him/her to decide whether to offer us grace, mercy, love and forgiveness. We certainly cannot count on these gifts, because no human can love us like Almighty God. But if we want to be a disciple of Christ… if we want to operate in the love of Jesus…we must make a concerted effort to forgive others as God forgives us. So while you cannot control the grudges others may hold against you…resentments, bitterness, and hatred have no business being a part of your makeup.
The next time you find yourself operating in a spirit of unforgiveness… whenever you feel bitterness, anger, resentment, or ill will creeping into your life… think of God and how He offers us immeasurable grace and mercy – even when we don’t deserve it. Then forgive whoever has offended you. Do this to honor God – and for yourself - even if the other guy never admits his/her part in the offense. If someone has wronged you and never asks you to forgive him/her, do it anyway. Joyce Meyer and others have characterized unforgiveness as spiritual poison. Do not allow this destructive tool of the devil to be present in your life for a single minute!
At the end of the day, we are responsible only for our personal behavior. To fail to forgive another person when God has so generously forgiven us would be incredibly hypocritical. I urge you to talk to God… tell Him how you feel. Ask Him to forgive you for any spirit of unforgiveness you have toward others… and thank Him for such a generous pardon when we acknowledge our own faults and shortcomings. Thank God for the incredible gifts of His grace and mercy… and trust Him to always be available to answer your call.
©2013 Debbie Robus
Matthew 6:12
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
A couple of months ago, I was talking with my grandmother one day… sharing what I thought would be good news with her about something my husband and I were doing. She burst into tears. I could not figure out what was wrong. Finally, she managed to say, “Oh… I’ve told you things.” I smiled and said, “Yes, you have… and I’ve listened!” This did not console her. What I did not know until a few weeks later was that she was trying to apologize for unkind things she might have said or done. In essence, she was asking for my forgiveness. With our communication barrier, I not only acknowledged her “confession”… I validated it! I have since corrected this. I thought my grandmother and I long ago forgave each other for anything we might have said or done that was harsh or unkind… or that we perceived as such. But in her last days/weeks/months of life, her “transgressions” are weighing on her… and she is desperately seeking to “make things right” with everyone she knows.
One of the hardest things for any of us to do is to forgive others. We seem to enjoy hanging onto our grudges. “But you have no idea what he/she did to me,” you may say. “I can’t just let people walk all over me.” Or, “I am so deeply hurt by what was said or done that I just don’t think I could ever forgive him/her.” Hello! Have you read the New Testament? Do you know what people did to Jesus? Have you taken a look in the mirror? Do you know the things you say and do to others every single day?
If you have asked Jesus to forgive you, then you must forgive others. We read this over and again in the New Testament. Jesus has reminded us many times that we must “take up the cross” if we wish to follow Him and be His disciple. Too many people are more than willing to accept the forgiveness of Jesus and salvation through His blood and sacrifice on the cross… but totally unwilling to offer forgiveness and mercy to others. You can’t have it both ways and claim to be a true disciple of Christ.
Where do you stand on this? Are you a “taker” and not a “giver?” Do you call yourself a Christian, yet continue to hold grudges? Do you strive to be a true disciple of Christ… to offer grace, mercy and forgiveness to others, whether they deserve it or not? Do you realize that this is what Jesus does for you every single minute of the day? Stop and ask God to help you with this. Pray for a spirit of kindness, love, mercy, and forgiveness. Operate fully in the blessings of Jesus… pay forward His forgiveness to others. If you can’t do it from your heart, do it in His name! Ask God to keep you forgiven… and to strengthen you to forgive others in kind. Now, who do you need to forgive today?
©2013 Debbie Robus
Matthew 5:11-12
“Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don’t like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
I once worked for someone who did not see eye to eye with me about some aspects of a particular project. Despite her best efforts to convince me that I was wrong and she was right, I finally told her that we would have to respectfully agree to disagree. She killed the project. I was momentarily wounded by her reaction. But in the long run, it didn’t hurt me as deeply as she had anticipated. In fact, a series of blessings followed that “course-changer,” and I’ve never looked back. There was a moral dilemma at play here… I could compromise my values and opinions – and my loyalty to my community at large - and fall into her camp, or I could “suffer the consequences.” I refused to budge.
Was this a hard decision? Maybe in some ways. Do I regret it? Not in the least! Have I seen the hand of God in many circumstances because of the choice I made? You betcha! Have I forgiven this person? Absolutely! To do anything else would be contrary to everything I believe and all that God teaches.
Here’s the deal…we are not the judge and jury. It’s not up to us to decide who is punished… or where or how. We are called to love others as we love ourselves… and that means to forgive them when they ridicule us or cause us pain in any form. Yes, your faith may cost you a job, a significant other, or any friends all. Yes, your allegiance to God could very well cost your very life. But what is the alternative? It’s certainly nothing I wish to consider… do you?
Read this scripture passage again… count your blessings every time people put you down, throw you out or speak lies about you because you are doing what God has told you to do. If you can, be glad when this happens. I know this is a tall order… but try to find joy in this “suffering.” And hear the applause of Heaven. Know that God is saying, “He/she passed the test with flying colors!” Realize that you are not the first… nor will you be the last… to be treated this way. And most importantly, your actions have pleased God. Isn’t that really all that matters?
Stand ready today to be who and what God called you to be… at all times… regardless of how others react or treat you. Be willing to step up and step out in His name, despite the cost. Prepare to hear the roar of Heaven as your grace, mercy, faithfulness and forgiveness in the name of Jesus are commended. Bask in the confidence that you have pleased the only One who really matters… His rewards blessings are the ultimate compensation.
©2013 Debbie Robus
Matthew 5:43-48
“You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
“In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
There are a lot of so-called child experts who say if a small child bites you, bite him/her back. “They need to understand how this feels,” the experts tell us. And you may agree. My opinion is that biting a child who bites only sets up a contest to see who can bite the hardest – or who is stronger. If the child happens to stop biting as a result, I believe this is merely coincidence. Equally as many “experts” will tell you that “the punishment must fit the crime,” which is why I am personally opposed to spanking. Does hitting a child for hitting someone – or for any other misbehavior – really do anything except “show him/her who is boss?”
Let’s be honest, we learn very quickly to retaliate when challenged. Just watch a few toddlers at play. You’ll see biting, hitting, scratching, and more in order to claim a position as “Top Dog.” If we do not take measures early on to instill in children a sense of loving one another, sharing, and showing kindness even when we don’t want to, we soon end up with youngsters who have learned to feel – and exhibit – disdain for their “enemy.”
Don’t misunderstand me… showing love and kindness toward someone who has offended or hurt us in some way is really, really hard. I have encountered several people in my lifetime that I found it very difficult to pray for and offer compassion. Certainly, as we hear more and more about bullies among us – in all age groups – we see that there are some pretty unlovely and unlovable people out there! But as Christians, we are better than this… by God’s grace. We who are completely unlovely ourselves… filled with sin and totally unworthy of God’s love… are shown incredible grace, mercy and compassion by our Heavenly Father. And we must pass this on to others in our path.
The writer of these verses is right… it is time to grow up in our faith. If we claim to be heirs to God’s kingdom, we have to act like them. We must exhibit the same love and kindness that God bestows upon us to everyone in our midst… not just to those who are nice to us. It may take some time to get this right, but we have to try… and with God’s help, we can do it. Ask Him to give you strength and courage…to fill you with His Holy Spirit and equip you with grace, mercy, and true tenderness for your fellow man. Practice this every day. Learn to love your friends…and your enemies… and live out your God-created identity.
©2012 Debbie Robus
James 5:19-20
My dear friends, if you know people who have wandered off from God’s truth, don’t write them off. Go after them. Get them back and you will have rescued precious lives from destruction and prevented an epidemic of wandering away from God.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
On June 9, 1995, six-year-old Morgan Nick asked her mother’s permission to catch lightning bugs with friends at a Little League ball field in Alma, Arkansas. Morgan’s mother, Colleen, reluctantly agreed. That was at 10:30 p.m. At 10:45, Colleen Nick went searching for Morgan. Other children told her that Morgan was seen emptying sand from her shoes near the family car and talking to a “creepy” man. When Colleen got to the car, Morgan was gone. Seventeen years later, she is still missing… but Colleen and countless others are still searching.
On September 12, 2012 - Morgan’s twenty-fourth birthday - Colleen Nick was in Onia, Arkansas, just outside of Mountain View, as a three-year-old child who had wandered from home some 30 hours earlier was located. The little boy was kneeling at the edge of a pond, caked in mud. He unassumingly told the rescuer, “I’m playing.” That he was found some 3+ miles from home was amazing. That he was physically unscathed, save a few scratches, was truly a miracle. Hundreds of volunteers and law enforcement personnel searched the thickly wooded, snake-and-critter-infested forests of the central Arkansas Ozarks for this child who was wearing only his Spider-Man underwear.
The child wandered off… and many went after him. Through tears and shouts of praise and “God is so good,” the rescue workers celebrated the safe return of this little guy. There is still hope that someday, somehow, now 24-year-old Morgan Nick might be rescued, as well. Her mother’s efforts are a testament to faith and perseverance. And this is what God asks of us… not only in the rescue of lost and abducted children in this physical world… but in the realm of those who have wandered away spiritually - gotten off track, and lost their way.
You probably know at least one person who fits into this category. I’m not asking you to pass judgment on others or lord over them how good and righteous you are. But surely you know someone you can lift in prayer and say, “LORD, I see So-and-so struggling. Help them to get on track and find their way back to You. If there is a way You can use me to help them, show me what to do.” If you know someone who could use gentle encouragement and guidance – and you feel close enough to this person to do so – by all means, speak a word of love and hope to them. You can also offer redirection to others by simple acts of kindness. Sometimes all the other person needs to know is that someone genuinely cares about him/her… and that you have not deserted them.
Prayerfully ask God to show you how to work in the lives of others, for His glory. When you are clearly led to take direct action, be bold and trust God to work out the details. When you feel hesitation, take that as a cue from God to proceed more cautiously. Prayer and a smile NEVER go out of style or lose effectiveness! Often, this is all God requires of us… that we pray for others… offer kindness… and never stop caring.
Who do you need to lift in prayer today? Where are you led to offer a hug or a smile? Is there someone you have been tempted to write off… to toss in the towel and say, “I give up on him/her”? Isn’t today a great day to redouble your efforts on their behalf… to say, “LORD, this precious child of yours has gotten lost, but I will not stop seeking him/her on Your behalf.”? Just as with the toddler lost in the woods whose location was uncertain… the value of finding him was sure. Just as Colleen Nick and others continue to believe that Morgan will be found, we must trust God to bring those who have wandered from Him back home once again. Are you doing your part in the rescue efforts?
©2012 Debbie Robus
1 Peter 3:8-11
Finally, all of you should agree and have concern and love for each other. You should also be kind and humble. Don’t be hateful and insult people just because they are hateful and insult you. Instead, treat everyone with kindness. You are God’s chosen ones, and he will bless you. The Scriptures say,
“Do you really love life? Do you want to be happy? Then stop saying cruel things and quit telling lies. Give up your evil ways and do right, as you find and follow the road that leads to peace.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
On July 20, 2012, a deranged individual in Aurora, Colorado, entered a movie theater and shot 70 people, killing twelve of them. Almost immediately, people began to ask, “Why? What caused this person to become so mentally unstable… so sick and violent?” Many began to call for his execution… for swift and speedy retribution for his heinous crimes.
A few days later, survivors of another horrific shooting… this one in Tucson, Arizona, on January 8, 2011… spoke publicly about their ordeal after the shooter pled guilty and was sentenced to life in prison. This shooter was also psychologically unsound. Several of his victims noted after the sentencing that what they wanted… to bring back those who died… was not possible. They stated that they believe this sentence represents the best outcome, as this killer will never be free to harm anyone else. As one victim put it, he has learned to follow three steps… to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. He said, “I think today that first step was achieved… and the second step was put into play. If we all take that third step, then our society will be a lot better to live in.”
To hear victims of such a horrendous shooting speak with peace and hope truly echoes the words of this scripture passage from 1 Peter. That those who were wounded as they stood alongside others who did not survive can stand and publicly say, “This is the best outcome we could have expected… we can put this behind us now,” exemplifies treating everyone with kindness. These people are not trading “insults” (and I use this word respectfully) and hate for what was given to them. These individuals genuinely want to be happy… to move forward and humbly give of themselves to others. And in order to do this, they have to release the hatred, pain and insults that have been hurled in their direction.
Surely, if victims of these unimaginable, gruesome crimes can do this… we can operate this way in our daily living. Few if any of us have experienced this level of abuse and mistreatment. But the insults and hatred we spew toward those in our path can be just as hurtful. The lies we tell, the unkindness we wield, the arrogance and piety with which we conduct our lives can all have incredible consequences…damage our reputations… and grieve God.
I honestly believe that God is at work in both of these dreadful experiences. He is using the victims of these shootings to show those of us who, by comparison, have incredibly small problems how to walk humbly in love, kindness and truth. These folks are showing us that we make mountains out of molehills. And many of us are operating in evil and wouldn’t know peace and happiness if it hit us over the head!
It’s time to change. We can, you know! The first step for us is to do what the Tucson shooting victim suggested… to live justly… to treat others fairly and with kindness and humility. In the same breath, I believe we must seek the mercy of God for our own life – and our own mercy for the lives of others. We must then strive to humbly walk with God every single day. We can do this… but we cannot do it on our own.
Where do you fit into this picture? Are hatred and insults eating you alive, or are you walking with God in peace and happiness? As Pastor Joel Osteen likes to say, “Are you a victim, or a victor?” The choice is yours… which will you decide?
©2012 Debbie Robus
