Matthew 18:15-17
“If a fellow believer hurts
you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens,
you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along
so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try
again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to
the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with
the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture
quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002
by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs,
CO. All rights reserved.
This might be some of the
best advice in the entire Bible. Countless heartaches could be avoided
if people practiced these three steps…particularly the first one. Too
many times, we get into a disagreement with someone – or we are offended
in some way – and instead of confronting the person with whom we are at
odds, we run to every other person we can find and tell our tale of
woe. This leads to gossip, ill will among people who rightfully don’t
“have a dog in the hunt,” and a lot of misunderstandings that could have
perhaps been avoided.
While the steps outlined by Jesus are
geared toward issues of the church (and let’s not pretend that those
don’t happen!)…there is a practical application for us, as well. I
don’t always get this right – and I am so sorry when I don’t! But let’s
try to always go right to the source when we have a problem. Let’s
discuss any issues that arise directly with the person involved. If
this doesn’t resolve the issue, then perhaps we ask a trusted Christian
friend to help us mediate the situation…but only one…and ONLY if we
cannot work things out on our own.
If THIS doesn’t work, we may
have to step back and distance ourselves from the person and/or
situation and let some time pass before deciding whether to pursue
resolution again or not. Sometimes, it is not possible to make amends.
Sometimes we have to shake the dust from our feet, move away, and
prayerfully trust God to bring about the right outcome for everyone.
A
good example of this would be a workplace where you were being asked to
perform tasks that you knew were dishonest – or illegal. The first
step would be to let the person who was asking you to do these things
know that you felt this was not acceptable. If this did not resolve the
situation, you might enlist the help of a trusted – and agreeable –
co-worker or supervisor to talk to the other party. And in the end, if a
satisfactory agreement could not be attained, you might actually have
to either appeal to higher authorities - or tender your resignation.
I
never said this process would be easy - or painless! And frankly, this
is why so many of us let things fester and avoid confrontation. But if
we want to be in the will of God and honor His commands, we must follow
them. And it seems to me that Jesus has been pretty clear in these
verses about how we are to handle conflict and offense.
So
tighten your chin strap, pull up your boots, and hitch up your
britches…and do the right thing. Follow the protocol, and trust God to
give you the strength and courage to pursue a favorable resolution.
Remember…with God, all things are possible. You don’t really think He
would let you down on this one…do you?
©2016 Debbie Robus
Showing posts with label resolving differences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resolving differences. Show all posts
Daily Devotional for June 24, 2016
June 24 ~ Matthew 18:15-17
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever gotten something new that required some assembly, and rather than follow the directions, you just plowed right in and tried to do it yourself? How many times did you have to “back-pedal” and read the directions? There are times when following the proper order of things makes all the difference!
In our Spiritual life, there is an “order” also…and Jesus spells it out in this scripture passage. When we have a “beef” with someone – or this person or another has hurt us or insulted us in some way - we tend to run all over the countryside telling everyone who will listen and cluck their tongue in commiseration. Or, we hope that by telling someone else, he/she will do the work for us and confront this person.
In truth, the best – and often easiest – solution is to talk to the offender directly. If that does not resolve the conflict, then we can enlist “backup.” And ultimately, if a resolution cannot be reached, you may have to “part company.” I can recall times in my own life where I followed this “plan” – and times when I did not. And I can attest that doing things as Jesus directed is the best way.
There will be times that this method does not result in the outcome for which you hoped. Sometimes, people do not want to change or admit that their way is not the only way…and sometimes, they are unwilling to apologize for hurtful words and actions. But if you offer someone an opportunity to resolve things between the two of you, at least you will be able to say, “I tried. I did things in the manner – and order – that Jesus commanded.” And this brings satisfaction – to yourself…and to Jesus.
Let’s be honest…the one place where we should be especially careful to follow the directions is where Jesus is the one giving them! He has given us a specific outline for how to handle conflict in these verses. Don’t you think we owe it to Him to pay attention?
©2016 Debbie Robus
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever gotten something new that required some assembly, and rather than follow the directions, you just plowed right in and tried to do it yourself? How many times did you have to “back-pedal” and read the directions? There are times when following the proper order of things makes all the difference!
In our Spiritual life, there is an “order” also…and Jesus spells it out in this scripture passage. When we have a “beef” with someone – or this person or another has hurt us or insulted us in some way - we tend to run all over the countryside telling everyone who will listen and cluck their tongue in commiseration. Or, we hope that by telling someone else, he/she will do the work for us and confront this person.
In truth, the best – and often easiest – solution is to talk to the offender directly. If that does not resolve the conflict, then we can enlist “backup.” And ultimately, if a resolution cannot be reached, you may have to “part company.” I can recall times in my own life where I followed this “plan” – and times when I did not. And I can attest that doing things as Jesus directed is the best way.
There will be times that this method does not result in the outcome for which you hoped. Sometimes, people do not want to change or admit that their way is not the only way…and sometimes, they are unwilling to apologize for hurtful words and actions. But if you offer someone an opportunity to resolve things between the two of you, at least you will be able to say, “I tried. I did things in the manner – and order – that Jesus commanded.” And this brings satisfaction – to yourself…and to Jesus.
Let’s be honest…the one place where we should be especially careful to follow the directions is where Jesus is the one giving them! He has given us a specific outline for how to handle conflict in these verses. Don’t you think we owe it to Him to pay attention?
©2016 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for February 25, 2016
Matthew 18:18-20
“Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
When we are with all three of our little ones, there is inevitably a “he said/she said” or “he did/she did” moment, where one child comes to an adult and wants him/her to “fix things.” And just as our parents did with us and our siblings, we often tell them to “work it out” as we “mediate” from afar. Usually, they will come to some sort of mutual agreement. There are exceptions, but we need to teach our children to work out their differences with minimal guidance from adults…based on the wisdom and principles that we have instilled in them.
You may be wondering why I am telling you this with regard to Matthew 18:18-20. After all, the last sentence in particular passage is widely known. People use it often as verification that God is with us even when our number is few. And while this is true…the real point of these verses cannot be understood fully without examining the lines that precede them.
In Matthew 18:12-20, Jesus outlines how to deal with conflict. He tells us we are to go to the person with whom we have a problem and try to iron out our differences. If this cannot be accomplished, we are to take a friend or two with us to help “mediate” the situation. If THIS doesn’t work, we are to take the matter before the church (or in the case of a squabble among friends or siblings, perhaps someone with “higher authority,” like a parent, teacher, or supervisor?). If all of this fails, we are to acknowledge that we have done all that is required and let God handle the rest. Some translations say that we are to excommunicate this offender, but The Message translation favors a “lather, rinse and repeat” strategy where we continue to try to minister in this situation, as God directs.
The point is that we Christians are not to give up on others. We are to do all that we can to love, nurture, encourage, and witness to them. We are to pray for everyone – even our enemies. And when conflicts arise, we are to seek God’s wisdom about how to handle the situation and proceed accordingly…knowing that He will provide us with the right answers – and maybe a fellow believer or two for support!
Here’s the thing…we must never underestimate God’s power to use us as His earthly agents in the efforts to further His Kingdom. We must recognize the abilities He gives to us and our fellow disciples through His Holy Spirit to make changes and bring about positive outcomes. We must realize that what we say and do on this earth has Eternal consequences. And when we operate in the name of Jesus, we must be very careful that we truly are doing His will…and not our own.
Finally, we must accept that there will be situations and circumstances in which the answer is a resounding “No!”…and we must trust God to make the difference and be the ultimate Authority. We must never give up on others, but we also must know when to step aside and let God have the reins. This is that “let go and let God” concept in action.
So the next time you read the passage about “whenever two or three are gathered in My name, I am there”…know that this is more than just an assurance that God will meet us anywhere – and anytime. This is a reminder that we are His agents on this earth…called and sanctified to “feed the sheep”…and bound by our commitment as Christian disciples to do so. And when we prayerfully work together with other believers to accomplish this, the results can be truly astounding.
Our words and actions matter…they have Eternal consequences! What are yours saying about your commitment to Jesus? Are you interacting with others in a way that reflects His wisdom and the ability that He has given you to accomplish His goals? Jesus wants us to grow in our faith and discipleship to a point where He can say, “I’ve equipped you for this mission…and I’m here if you need Me. But you know how to do this…so get busy!” Are you really ready for this responsibility? Isn’t it time you were?
©2016 Debbie Robus
“Take this most seriously: A yes on earth is yes in heaven; a no on earth is no in heaven. What you say to one another is eternal. I mean this. When two of you get together on anything at all on earth and make a prayer of it, my Father in heaven goes into action. And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
When we are with all three of our little ones, there is inevitably a “he said/she said” or “he did/she did” moment, where one child comes to an adult and wants him/her to “fix things.” And just as our parents did with us and our siblings, we often tell them to “work it out” as we “mediate” from afar. Usually, they will come to some sort of mutual agreement. There are exceptions, but we need to teach our children to work out their differences with minimal guidance from adults…based on the wisdom and principles that we have instilled in them.
You may be wondering why I am telling you this with regard to Matthew 18:18-20. After all, the last sentence in particular passage is widely known. People use it often as verification that God is with us even when our number is few. And while this is true…the real point of these verses cannot be understood fully without examining the lines that precede them.
In Matthew 18:12-20, Jesus outlines how to deal with conflict. He tells us we are to go to the person with whom we have a problem and try to iron out our differences. If this cannot be accomplished, we are to take a friend or two with us to help “mediate” the situation. If THIS doesn’t work, we are to take the matter before the church (or in the case of a squabble among friends or siblings, perhaps someone with “higher authority,” like a parent, teacher, or supervisor?). If all of this fails, we are to acknowledge that we have done all that is required and let God handle the rest. Some translations say that we are to excommunicate this offender, but The Message translation favors a “lather, rinse and repeat” strategy where we continue to try to minister in this situation, as God directs.
The point is that we Christians are not to give up on others. We are to do all that we can to love, nurture, encourage, and witness to them. We are to pray for everyone – even our enemies. And when conflicts arise, we are to seek God’s wisdom about how to handle the situation and proceed accordingly…knowing that He will provide us with the right answers – and maybe a fellow believer or two for support!
Here’s the thing…we must never underestimate God’s power to use us as His earthly agents in the efforts to further His Kingdom. We must recognize the abilities He gives to us and our fellow disciples through His Holy Spirit to make changes and bring about positive outcomes. We must realize that what we say and do on this earth has Eternal consequences. And when we operate in the name of Jesus, we must be very careful that we truly are doing His will…and not our own.
Finally, we must accept that there will be situations and circumstances in which the answer is a resounding “No!”…and we must trust God to make the difference and be the ultimate Authority. We must never give up on others, but we also must know when to step aside and let God have the reins. This is that “let go and let God” concept in action.
So the next time you read the passage about “whenever two or three are gathered in My name, I am there”…know that this is more than just an assurance that God will meet us anywhere – and anytime. This is a reminder that we are His agents on this earth…called and sanctified to “feed the sheep”…and bound by our commitment as Christian disciples to do so. And when we prayerfully work together with other believers to accomplish this, the results can be truly astounding.
Our words and actions matter…they have Eternal consequences! What are yours saying about your commitment to Jesus? Are you interacting with others in a way that reflects His wisdom and the ability that He has given you to accomplish His goals? Jesus wants us to grow in our faith and discipleship to a point where He can say, “I’ve equipped you for this mission…and I’m here if you need Me. But you know how to do this…so get busy!” Are you really ready for this responsibility? Isn’t it time you were?
©2016 Debbie Robus
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