Matthew 18:15-17
“If a fellow believer hurts
you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens,
you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along
so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try
again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to
the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with
the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture
quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002
by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs,
CO. All rights reserved.
This might be some of the
best advice in the entire Bible. Countless heartaches could be avoided
if people practiced these three steps…particularly the first one. Too
many times, we get into a disagreement with someone – or we are offended
in some way – and instead of confronting the person with whom we are at
odds, we run to every other person we can find and tell our tale of
woe. This leads to gossip, ill will among people who rightfully don’t
“have a dog in the hunt,” and a lot of misunderstandings that could have
perhaps been avoided.
While the steps outlined by Jesus are
geared toward issues of the church (and let’s not pretend that those
don’t happen!)…there is a practical application for us, as well. I
don’t always get this right – and I am so sorry when I don’t! But let’s
try to always go right to the source when we have a problem. Let’s
discuss any issues that arise directly with the person involved. If
this doesn’t resolve the issue, then perhaps we ask a trusted Christian
friend to help us mediate the situation…but only one…and ONLY if we
cannot work things out on our own.
If THIS doesn’t work, we may
have to step back and distance ourselves from the person and/or
situation and let some time pass before deciding whether to pursue
resolution again or not. Sometimes, it is not possible to make amends.
Sometimes we have to shake the dust from our feet, move away, and
prayerfully trust God to bring about the right outcome for everyone.
A
good example of this would be a workplace where you were being asked to
perform tasks that you knew were dishonest – or illegal. The first
step would be to let the person who was asking you to do these things
know that you felt this was not acceptable. If this did not resolve the
situation, you might enlist the help of a trusted – and agreeable –
co-worker or supervisor to talk to the other party. And in the end, if a
satisfactory agreement could not be attained, you might actually have
to either appeal to higher authorities - or tender your resignation.
I
never said this process would be easy - or painless! And frankly, this
is why so many of us let things fester and avoid confrontation. But if
we want to be in the will of God and honor His commands, we must follow
them. And it seems to me that Jesus has been pretty clear in these
verses about how we are to handle conflict and offense.
So
tighten your chin strap, pull up your boots, and hitch up your
britches…and do the right thing. Follow the protocol, and trust God to
give you the strength and courage to pursue a favorable resolution.
Remember…with God, all things are possible. You don’t really think He
would let you down on this one…do you?
©2016 Debbie Robus
Showing posts with label gossip. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gossip. Show all posts
Daily Devotional for June 24, 2016
June 24 ~ Matthew 18:15-17
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever gotten something new that required some assembly, and rather than follow the directions, you just plowed right in and tried to do it yourself? How many times did you have to “back-pedal” and read the directions? There are times when following the proper order of things makes all the difference!
In our Spiritual life, there is an “order” also…and Jesus spells it out in this scripture passage. When we have a “beef” with someone – or this person or another has hurt us or insulted us in some way - we tend to run all over the countryside telling everyone who will listen and cluck their tongue in commiseration. Or, we hope that by telling someone else, he/she will do the work for us and confront this person.
In truth, the best – and often easiest – solution is to talk to the offender directly. If that does not resolve the conflict, then we can enlist “backup.” And ultimately, if a resolution cannot be reached, you may have to “part company.” I can recall times in my own life where I followed this “plan” – and times when I did not. And I can attest that doing things as Jesus directed is the best way.
There will be times that this method does not result in the outcome for which you hoped. Sometimes, people do not want to change or admit that their way is not the only way…and sometimes, they are unwilling to apologize for hurtful words and actions. But if you offer someone an opportunity to resolve things between the two of you, at least you will be able to say, “I tried. I did things in the manner – and order – that Jesus commanded.” And this brings satisfaction – to yourself…and to Jesus.
Let’s be honest…the one place where we should be especially careful to follow the directions is where Jesus is the one giving them! He has given us a specific outline for how to handle conflict in these verses. Don’t you think we owe it to Him to pay attention?
©2016 Debbie Robus
“If a fellow believer hurts you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens, you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever gotten something new that required some assembly, and rather than follow the directions, you just plowed right in and tried to do it yourself? How many times did you have to “back-pedal” and read the directions? There are times when following the proper order of things makes all the difference!
In our Spiritual life, there is an “order” also…and Jesus spells it out in this scripture passage. When we have a “beef” with someone – or this person or another has hurt us or insulted us in some way - we tend to run all over the countryside telling everyone who will listen and cluck their tongue in commiseration. Or, we hope that by telling someone else, he/she will do the work for us and confront this person.
In truth, the best – and often easiest – solution is to talk to the offender directly. If that does not resolve the conflict, then we can enlist “backup.” And ultimately, if a resolution cannot be reached, you may have to “part company.” I can recall times in my own life where I followed this “plan” – and times when I did not. And I can attest that doing things as Jesus directed is the best way.
There will be times that this method does not result in the outcome for which you hoped. Sometimes, people do not want to change or admit that their way is not the only way…and sometimes, they are unwilling to apologize for hurtful words and actions. But if you offer someone an opportunity to resolve things between the two of you, at least you will be able to say, “I tried. I did things in the manner – and order – that Jesus commanded.” And this brings satisfaction – to yourself…and to Jesus.
Let’s be honest…the one place where we should be especially careful to follow the directions is where Jesus is the one giving them! He has given us a specific outline for how to handle conflict in these verses. Don’t you think we owe it to Him to pay attention?
©2016 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for September 21, 2015
Proverbs 16:28
Gossip is no good!
It causes hard feelings
and comes between friends.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
When I was a little girl, there was a popular “party game” called “Gossip.” We would sit in a row, and someone would whisper something in the ear of the person on one end, who would turn and whisper to his/her neighbor, who would repeat this process until the phrase was shared with the person at the end of the line. The last person would repeat out loud what had been whispered to him/her. Then the first person would say what they had been told. Most of the time, what the first person heard was nothing like what was repeated by the last person in the line.
I would venture to say that all of us have some experience with gossip. We have probably shared some “juicy tidbits” ourselves. But if you or someone you know and love has ever been the victim of ugly rumors and talk, you know how hurtful this can be. The damage can last a lifetime. Let’s be honest…gossip can create a question mark in your mind about the person(s) involved - whether the rumor is dispelled or not. This is just human nature. And if you are the victim of gossip, your attitude and impression of those who shared it can be forever altered…even if that person apologizes and begs for your forgiveness.
In The Purpose Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren calls on us to have the courage to say to those who offer gossip…”I do not need to hear this.” We don’t have to be rude about it…but we must be firm in our response. Nothing harms the body of Christ like gossip among His children!
Proverbs 18:8 says, “There’s nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.” When you are presented with this “delicious temptation,” learn to say “No, thank you!” The more you practice, the better you will become. I can’t say that I am totally “there” yet…but I do find that I catch myself more frequently and say, “I don’t need to go there.” And I am always glad that I took a breath and regrouped.
Every time we avoid the temptation to share gossip, we make God beam with pride…and we give the devil a swift kick in the pants! Let’s make this a habit that we practice so often that it becomes second nature. Let’s make the devil so sore that he can’t sit down…and glorify Jesus in the process! We’ll all be better for it in more ways than we can count! Are you with me?
©2015 Debbie Robus
*The Purpose Driven Life ~ ©1997 Rick Warren ~ http://purposedriven.com/books/pdlbook/#purpose
Gossip is no good!
It causes hard feelings
and comes between friends.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
When I was a little girl, there was a popular “party game” called “Gossip.” We would sit in a row, and someone would whisper something in the ear of the person on one end, who would turn and whisper to his/her neighbor, who would repeat this process until the phrase was shared with the person at the end of the line. The last person would repeat out loud what had been whispered to him/her. Then the first person would say what they had been told. Most of the time, what the first person heard was nothing like what was repeated by the last person in the line.
I would venture to say that all of us have some experience with gossip. We have probably shared some “juicy tidbits” ourselves. But if you or someone you know and love has ever been the victim of ugly rumors and talk, you know how hurtful this can be. The damage can last a lifetime. Let’s be honest…gossip can create a question mark in your mind about the person(s) involved - whether the rumor is dispelled or not. This is just human nature. And if you are the victim of gossip, your attitude and impression of those who shared it can be forever altered…even if that person apologizes and begs for your forgiveness.
In The Purpose Driven Life, Pastor Rick Warren calls on us to have the courage to say to those who offer gossip…”I do not need to hear this.” We don’t have to be rude about it…but we must be firm in our response. Nothing harms the body of Christ like gossip among His children!
Proverbs 18:8 says, “There’s nothing so delicious as the taste of gossip! It melts in your mouth.” When you are presented with this “delicious temptation,” learn to say “No, thank you!” The more you practice, the better you will become. I can’t say that I am totally “there” yet…but I do find that I catch myself more frequently and say, “I don’t need to go there.” And I am always glad that I took a breath and regrouped.
Every time we avoid the temptation to share gossip, we make God beam with pride…and we give the devil a swift kick in the pants! Let’s make this a habit that we practice so often that it becomes second nature. Let’s make the devil so sore that he can’t sit down…and glorify Jesus in the process! We’ll all be better for it in more ways than we can count! Are you with me?
©2015 Debbie Robus
*The Purpose Driven Life ~ ©1997 Rick Warren ~ http://purposedriven.com/books/pdlbook/#purpose
Daily Devotional for October 27, 2014
Psalm 41:1-3
You, Lord God, bless everyone
who cares for the poor,
and you rescue those people
in times of trouble.
You protect them
and keep them alive.
You make them happy here
in this land,
and you don’t hand them over
to their enemies.
You always heal them
and restore their strength
when they are sick.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
An acquaintance recently posted a link to a video that I was gullible enough to watch. The speaker was talking about how (IN HIS OPINION, NOT MINE!) we Christians are being overtaken by evil forces at every turn, and this is resulting in terrible things happening in our world. The "kicker" to his ridiculous rant came in the closing sentence, when he said something about how "they" (the "evil ones") will even "take our money and our cars!" And this man was supposedly some sort of pastor!
C'mon now! You know this isn't right! Yet I see it played out all the time as I shop at our local Wal-Mart and thrift store and interact with others around town. Since we live in a fairly small community, I know a lot of people...many who would "swear on a stack of Bibles" that they are faith-filled Christians. Some of these same people practice what I call "Country Club Religion"...and a whole lotta folks are not members of the "Club". And boy, do they know it! They know by the way they are smiled at with pity or disdain...or the way they are not included in table discussions at school or a local church circle. They know where they "fit" (or don't), because a lot of us "Christians" are quite open about how we feel toward those who are not like us in some way...race or skin color, ethnicity, lifestyle, socio-economic level, education level - even which church someone attends - and so much more.
It starts early. I am seeing the "cliques" develop even among Timothy, Zola and Nathan's age groups and how certain children are treated one way or another. If you read the rest of Psalm 41, you will see that David addresses this. He talks to God about people who come to see him when he is sick and pretend to care...then go out and gossip about him in the community. He notes that even his best friend did this...he told others that David had some sort of deadly disease - and that they should stay away from him.
Isn't that what we often do? We tell others, "Well, he/she is _______." You can fill in the blank. We do it with everyone from the person who sits next to us in class or at church all the way to our President and world leaders. We protect our "stuff" and our "position" at all costs - even at the expense of another of God's children. And we expect God to pat us on the head and tell us that this is all okay.
Well, it's not alright! And as David tells God in verse 12..."You have helped me because I am innocent, and You will always be close to my side." A lot of people are "sick and suffering" because of mistreatment by "Christians". Many have decided that God must not love them...because in so many ways, they have been told this repeatedly by people who claim to know Jesus and to follow Him, while they deride and judge others - and sometimes not all that subtly.
Here's a news flash...God loves the "poor" - those who are physically in need, and those who are poor in spirit. He cares about those who are sick in the body, sick at heart, and just plain sick and tired. He cares about them just as much as the next person, and His deepest desire is to heal them and to bring joy, peace and salvation into their lives. I serve a God of abundant, profound, all-encompassing love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. He could care less what I wear, what kind of car I drive, or whether I just got the latest version of the newest smart phone! Moreover, He knows what race I am...the color of my skin...my sexual orientation...and my very DNA - because HE MADE ME! And you know what? HE LOVES ME JUST LIKE THIS!
If I sound upset or angry, I’m not – I'm just disheartened. I am so tired of hearing about "Christian values" and what is wrong with our world, when what is really wrong is that we have failed to hear God's voice and meet the needs of ALL of His people...RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE! I'm sorry if this upsets you, but the "Christian Country Club" needs to GO! We need to pull out our Bibles, spend some serious time in study and prayer, and figure out what God is calling us to do...then get busy doing it!
You have a choice...you can be one of those "friends" who visits the sick - or smiles at your neighbor - and talks about them later. Or you can fall to your knees and ask God to show you how, when and where to serve Him...unconditionally. You can ask God to show you where and how to minister in His name to the "sick" and the poor...and to guard your heart and mind from judging another living soul in the process. You can serve as a catalyst for healing, joy, restoration and salvation. Or you can sit home and worry about your car and your "stuff". The choice is totally yours. What do you think God would want you to do?
©2014 Debbie Robus
You, Lord God, bless everyone
who cares for the poor,
and you rescue those people
in times of trouble.
You protect them
and keep them alive.
You make them happy here
in this land,
and you don’t hand them over
to their enemies.
You always heal them
and restore their strength
when they are sick.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
An acquaintance recently posted a link to a video that I was gullible enough to watch. The speaker was talking about how (IN HIS OPINION, NOT MINE!) we Christians are being overtaken by evil forces at every turn, and this is resulting in terrible things happening in our world. The "kicker" to his ridiculous rant came in the closing sentence, when he said something about how "they" (the "evil ones") will even "take our money and our cars!" And this man was supposedly some sort of pastor!
C'mon now! You know this isn't right! Yet I see it played out all the time as I shop at our local Wal-Mart and thrift store and interact with others around town. Since we live in a fairly small community, I know a lot of people...many who would "swear on a stack of Bibles" that they are faith-filled Christians. Some of these same people practice what I call "Country Club Religion"...and a whole lotta folks are not members of the "Club". And boy, do they know it! They know by the way they are smiled at with pity or disdain...or the way they are not included in table discussions at school or a local church circle. They know where they "fit" (or don't), because a lot of us "Christians" are quite open about how we feel toward those who are not like us in some way...race or skin color, ethnicity, lifestyle, socio-economic level, education level - even which church someone attends - and so much more.
It starts early. I am seeing the "cliques" develop even among Timothy, Zola and Nathan's age groups and how certain children are treated one way or another. If you read the rest of Psalm 41, you will see that David addresses this. He talks to God about people who come to see him when he is sick and pretend to care...then go out and gossip about him in the community. He notes that even his best friend did this...he told others that David had some sort of deadly disease - and that they should stay away from him.
Isn't that what we often do? We tell others, "Well, he/she is _______." You can fill in the blank. We do it with everyone from the person who sits next to us in class or at church all the way to our President and world leaders. We protect our "stuff" and our "position" at all costs - even at the expense of another of God's children. And we expect God to pat us on the head and tell us that this is all okay.
Well, it's not alright! And as David tells God in verse 12..."You have helped me because I am innocent, and You will always be close to my side." A lot of people are "sick and suffering" because of mistreatment by "Christians". Many have decided that God must not love them...because in so many ways, they have been told this repeatedly by people who claim to know Jesus and to follow Him, while they deride and judge others - and sometimes not all that subtly.
Here's a news flash...God loves the "poor" - those who are physically in need, and those who are poor in spirit. He cares about those who are sick in the body, sick at heart, and just plain sick and tired. He cares about them just as much as the next person, and His deepest desire is to heal them and to bring joy, peace and salvation into their lives. I serve a God of abundant, profound, all-encompassing love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. He could care less what I wear, what kind of car I drive, or whether I just got the latest version of the newest smart phone! Moreover, He knows what race I am...the color of my skin...my sexual orientation...and my very DNA - because HE MADE ME! And you know what? HE LOVES ME JUST LIKE THIS!
If I sound upset or angry, I’m not – I'm just disheartened. I am so tired of hearing about "Christian values" and what is wrong with our world, when what is really wrong is that we have failed to hear God's voice and meet the needs of ALL of His people...RIGHT WHERE THEY ARE! I'm sorry if this upsets you, but the "Christian Country Club" needs to GO! We need to pull out our Bibles, spend some serious time in study and prayer, and figure out what God is calling us to do...then get busy doing it!
You have a choice...you can be one of those "friends" who visits the sick - or smiles at your neighbor - and talks about them later. Or you can fall to your knees and ask God to show you how, when and where to serve Him...unconditionally. You can ask God to show you where and how to minister in His name to the "sick" and the poor...and to guard your heart and mind from judging another living soul in the process. You can serve as a catalyst for healing, joy, restoration and salvation. Or you can sit home and worry about your car and your "stuff". The choice is totally yours. What do you think God would want you to do?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for November 8, 2011
John 16:29-33
"This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!
"I've used figures of speech in telling you these things. Soon I'll drop the figures and tell you about the Father in plain language. Then you can make your requests directly to him in relation to this life I've revealed to you. I won't continue making requests of the Father on your behalf. I won't need to. Because you've gone out on a limb, committed yourselves to love and trust in me, believing I came directly from the Father, the Father loves you directly. First, I left the Father and arrived in the world; now I leave the world and travel to the Father."
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever played that game called “Gossip?” You know the one. Someone whispers to one person, who in turn tells the next guy, and the “secret” is passed to each person until all have heard it. At the end of the line, the last person repeats what was told to him/her. Most of the time, that “secret” is vastly different from the one told by Person Number One!
Things get distorted when more than one person is involved in the telling. And each person has his/her perspective on what is said or how things happened. So it always is best to talk directly to others about matters where you have any questions. If you want to know what another person thinks or feels about a particular situation, ask him/her… not a friend or family member. If you have a problem with someone, go to that person directly and say, “Here’s what I experienced… is this how you see it?”
Most importantly, talk to God and hear what HE has to tell you. Don’t listen to others who say, “This is okay,” or “God wants you to do/believe such and such.” Study the Bible, pray and communicate with God, and LISTEN… hear what He has to say directly to YOU. Don’t play the “Gossip” game with your relationship with God. Commit yourself to loving and trusting Jesus. When He speaks to you, listen and obey what He tells you. Make sure that all of your decisions and choices line up with His word… not the second-hand messages of someone else.
We are so blessed and privileged to be able to speak directly to GOD! We never have to rely on what others tell us. We never have to try to figure out what was meant by a riddle or generalizations. We get straight talk from God, and it is up to us to hear what He has to say and act on that… and nothing else.
I pray that today you will have a serious conversation with God. Ask Him to open your heart to His messages… and to give you clear discernment when He speaks. Stop being influenced by the small talk of others – about your faith, other people, and your daily living. Take full advantage of the amazing gift that God has bestowed upon you… a direct line to Him at all times… and operate in confidence that you are doing exactly what He tells you in every circumstance.
©2011 Debbie Robus
"This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!
"I've used figures of speech in telling you these things. Soon I'll drop the figures and tell you about the Father in plain language. Then you can make your requests directly to him in relation to this life I've revealed to you. I won't continue making requests of the Father on your behalf. I won't need to. Because you've gone out on a limb, committed yourselves to love and trust in me, believing I came directly from the Father, the Father loves you directly. First, I left the Father and arrived in the world; now I leave the world and travel to the Father."
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever played that game called “Gossip?” You know the one. Someone whispers to one person, who in turn tells the next guy, and the “secret” is passed to each person until all have heard it. At the end of the line, the last person repeats what was told to him/her. Most of the time, that “secret” is vastly different from the one told by Person Number One!
Things get distorted when more than one person is involved in the telling. And each person has his/her perspective on what is said or how things happened. So it always is best to talk directly to others about matters where you have any questions. If you want to know what another person thinks or feels about a particular situation, ask him/her… not a friend or family member. If you have a problem with someone, go to that person directly and say, “Here’s what I experienced… is this how you see it?”
Most importantly, talk to God and hear what HE has to tell you. Don’t listen to others who say, “This is okay,” or “God wants you to do/believe such and such.” Study the Bible, pray and communicate with God, and LISTEN… hear what He has to say directly to YOU. Don’t play the “Gossip” game with your relationship with God. Commit yourself to loving and trusting Jesus. When He speaks to you, listen and obey what He tells you. Make sure that all of your decisions and choices line up with His word… not the second-hand messages of someone else.
We are so blessed and privileged to be able to speak directly to GOD! We never have to rely on what others tell us. We never have to try to figure out what was meant by a riddle or generalizations. We get straight talk from God, and it is up to us to hear what He has to say and act on that… and nothing else.
I pray that today you will have a serious conversation with God. Ask Him to open your heart to His messages… and to give you clear discernment when He speaks. Stop being influenced by the small talk of others – about your faith, other people, and your daily living. Take full advantage of the amazing gift that God has bestowed upon you… a direct line to Him at all times… and operate in confidence that you are doing exactly what He tells you in every circumstance.
©2011 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for May 7, 2011
Proverbs 16:27-28
Worthless people plan trouble. Even their words burn like a flaming fire. Gossip is no good! It causes hard feelings and comes between friends.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I recently purchased a box of vintage linens at an estate auction. When I got home, I carefully sorted through the things in the box and washed many of them to starch and iron and prepare for sale. You never know what you will find in a box of old linens. Some things are perfect… practically brand new… like they were never used. Others are stained, frayed, and worn. But most still have some use in them – even if they bear the marks of continued usage and/or abuse.
In the box were twelve beautiful crocheted cotton placemats. The lines and the workmanship were fairly simple but still represented a huge amount of work and care. Most were completely intact and nearly perfect in condition. However, one had some tatters in a small area. Another had a tiny fray. And yet another had a slight stain. In all, the whole set still has quality, and once a table is set with the placemats, the tiny tatters and stains will hardly be noticeable… if at all. Yet they are there, and the integrity of those three placemats has – to some degree – been compromised.
As I pressed these placemats, I thought about these two verses from Proverbs… how poorly chosen words and venomous gossip create a stain and tatters in relationships. Sometimes, these can be mended… the rough edges and tears in the heart can be smoothed and covered. But the stain or tear still remains. The hurt may heal – the person who spoke harshly or spread the gossip may be forgiven. But the damage is done… and sometimes, no repair can be made.
Like the stain on a placemat that can be covered with tableware, hurtful words can be covered… but the “stain” is still there. And we, as Christians, are sometimes the very people who put the stain on someone’s heart or reputation with our ill-chosen words.
Sometimes, we don’t really even know the people about whom we gossip or say unkind things. And maybe we figure that, because we really don’t know them – and they will never know what we said about them – it doesn’t really hurt anything or anyone. But the truth is that people are watching – and listening. If even one person is influenced by our negative or unkind words… that’s one too many. The integrity of our Christian witness is compromised.
Ask God to show you how to control your thoughts before you speak… and ultimately what comes out of your mouth. Don’t be known as someone who is mean or worthless… a gossip that spreads lies and breaks up friendships… a troublemaker who is always trying to stir up others’ feelings. This is not Godly behavior… and it doesn’t please our Heavenly Father one bit!
Be who God has called you to be… a wise, careful, thoughtful person who prayerfully considers what to say before engaging the tongue. In The Message, Proverbs 16:25 says “There’s a way that looks harmless enough: look again – it leads straight to hell.” Ask God if what you are about to say about someone or a certain situation is really harmless… and let Him lead you in the right direction and toward a wise decision for yourself… and for all concerned.
©2011 Debbie Robus
Worthless people plan trouble. Even their words burn like a flaming fire. Gossip is no good! It causes hard feelings and comes between friends.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I recently purchased a box of vintage linens at an estate auction. When I got home, I carefully sorted through the things in the box and washed many of them to starch and iron and prepare for sale. You never know what you will find in a box of old linens. Some things are perfect… practically brand new… like they were never used. Others are stained, frayed, and worn. But most still have some use in them – even if they bear the marks of continued usage and/or abuse.
In the box were twelve beautiful crocheted cotton placemats. The lines and the workmanship were fairly simple but still represented a huge amount of work and care. Most were completely intact and nearly perfect in condition. However, one had some tatters in a small area. Another had a tiny fray. And yet another had a slight stain. In all, the whole set still has quality, and once a table is set with the placemats, the tiny tatters and stains will hardly be noticeable… if at all. Yet they are there, and the integrity of those three placemats has – to some degree – been compromised.
As I pressed these placemats, I thought about these two verses from Proverbs… how poorly chosen words and venomous gossip create a stain and tatters in relationships. Sometimes, these can be mended… the rough edges and tears in the heart can be smoothed and covered. But the stain or tear still remains. The hurt may heal – the person who spoke harshly or spread the gossip may be forgiven. But the damage is done… and sometimes, no repair can be made.
Like the stain on a placemat that can be covered with tableware, hurtful words can be covered… but the “stain” is still there. And we, as Christians, are sometimes the very people who put the stain on someone’s heart or reputation with our ill-chosen words.
Sometimes, we don’t really even know the people about whom we gossip or say unkind things. And maybe we figure that, because we really don’t know them – and they will never know what we said about them – it doesn’t really hurt anything or anyone. But the truth is that people are watching – and listening. If even one person is influenced by our negative or unkind words… that’s one too many. The integrity of our Christian witness is compromised.
Ask God to show you how to control your thoughts before you speak… and ultimately what comes out of your mouth. Don’t be known as someone who is mean or worthless… a gossip that spreads lies and breaks up friendships… a troublemaker who is always trying to stir up others’ feelings. This is not Godly behavior… and it doesn’t please our Heavenly Father one bit!
Be who God has called you to be… a wise, careful, thoughtful person who prayerfully considers what to say before engaging the tongue. In The Message, Proverbs 16:25 says “There’s a way that looks harmless enough: look again – it leads straight to hell.” Ask God if what you are about to say about someone or a certain situation is really harmless… and let Him lead you in the right direction and toward a wise decision for yourself… and for all concerned.
©2011 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for March 5, 2011
Psalm 40:11-17
You, LORD, never fail to have pity on me; your love and faithfulness always keep me secure. I have more troubles than I can count. My sins are all around me, and I can't find my way. My sins outnumber the hairs on my head, and I feel weak. Please show that you care and come to my rescue. Hurry and help me! Disappoint and confuse all who want me dead; turn away and disgrace all who want to hurt me. Embarrass and shame all of those who say, "Just look at you now!"
Our LORD, let your worshipers rejoice and be glad. They love you for saving them, so let them always say, "The LORD is wonderful!" I am poor and needy, but, LORD God, you care about me, and you come to my rescue. Please hurry and help.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I don’t know about you, but more than once I have felt like… “I have more troubles than I can count.” And recently, this has certainly been true for actor Charlie Sheen. Everyone seems to be talking about him and his situation… made worse by his television interviews and insistence that there is nothing wrong with him! The truth is, we do not know his heart… but he appears to be very sick and, as described in verse 2 of this Psalm, stuck in “a lonely pit full of mud and mire.”
Hopefully we will never find ourselves in a pit of the mud and mire of drug addiction and accompanying mental illness (if only temporarily). But when we do find ourselves in trouble, we know THE WAY out… and His name is Jesus!
I know I often say, “People are watching”… and they are. But people are also talking… sometimes about things that are not totally true – or at the very least, none of their business. I have heard more than one person say that they felt like everyone was talking about them and their “scandal” of sorts. My response is that we all only get about 15 minutes, and then people are on to the next big story of the day. More importantly, if you have squared your situation with God… if you have confessed any sins and wrongdoing on your part and asked for His forgiveness, then the talk and judgment of others does not matter.
If you have ever felt that you were in a situation where others were judging you – wrongfully, or even with some merit – you know how awful this feels. Don’t be that person for others… not even Charlie Sheen or others in the limelight. Ask God to lift them from the mud and the mire. Call on Him to place people in their path who can introduce them to THE WAY out of their troubles and set their feet on the Rock that is Jesus Christ!
Thank God for coming to your rescue and setting you upright again… for His forgiveness, grace and mercy. Praise Him for loving us so much… especially when we are poor and needy… and standing by to help in a hurry. There IS hope for all of us… and He stands ready to save. He will not disappoint those of us who turn to Him. Where are you looking these days?
©2011 Debbie Robus
You, LORD, never fail to have pity on me; your love and faithfulness always keep me secure. I have more troubles than I can count. My sins are all around me, and I can't find my way. My sins outnumber the hairs on my head, and I feel weak. Please show that you care and come to my rescue. Hurry and help me! Disappoint and confuse all who want me dead; turn away and disgrace all who want to hurt me. Embarrass and shame all of those who say, "Just look at you now!"
Our LORD, let your worshipers rejoice and be glad. They love you for saving them, so let them always say, "The LORD is wonderful!" I am poor and needy, but, LORD God, you care about me, and you come to my rescue. Please hurry and help.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I don’t know about you, but more than once I have felt like… “I have more troubles than I can count.” And recently, this has certainly been true for actor Charlie Sheen. Everyone seems to be talking about him and his situation… made worse by his television interviews and insistence that there is nothing wrong with him! The truth is, we do not know his heart… but he appears to be very sick and, as described in verse 2 of this Psalm, stuck in “a lonely pit full of mud and mire.”
Hopefully we will never find ourselves in a pit of the mud and mire of drug addiction and accompanying mental illness (if only temporarily). But when we do find ourselves in trouble, we know THE WAY out… and His name is Jesus!
I know I often say, “People are watching”… and they are. But people are also talking… sometimes about things that are not totally true – or at the very least, none of their business. I have heard more than one person say that they felt like everyone was talking about them and their “scandal” of sorts. My response is that we all only get about 15 minutes, and then people are on to the next big story of the day. More importantly, if you have squared your situation with God… if you have confessed any sins and wrongdoing on your part and asked for His forgiveness, then the talk and judgment of others does not matter.
If you have ever felt that you were in a situation where others were judging you – wrongfully, or even with some merit – you know how awful this feels. Don’t be that person for others… not even Charlie Sheen or others in the limelight. Ask God to lift them from the mud and the mire. Call on Him to place people in their path who can introduce them to THE WAY out of their troubles and set their feet on the Rock that is Jesus Christ!
Thank God for coming to your rescue and setting you upright again… for His forgiveness, grace and mercy. Praise Him for loving us so much… especially when we are poor and needy… and standing by to help in a hurry. There IS hope for all of us… and He stands ready to save. He will not disappoint those of us who turn to Him. Where are you looking these days?
©2011 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for December 4, 2010
1 Peter 2:1
Stop being hateful! Quit trying to fool people, and start being sincere. Don't be jealous or say cruel things about others.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Your mom has probably told you at some point, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Good advice! People can usually spot a phony a mile away… especially if that person makes a habit of telling others what they want to hear. You know the type… “fitting in” by being critical or cruel toward others, spreading gossip, and cutting down others in order to make themselves look better. These same people can turn on the charm when they come face-to-face with the very people they have criticized or berated. They know how to “work a crowd”… but not in a good way. Hopefully you are not one of these people!
There is no room in the life of a Christian for such phoniness. We don’t have time and energy to expend on anything except the things of Jesus… sharing love, grace, mercy, kindness, understanding… GOOD NEWS!
I dare you to make a concerted effort to smile more and see what happens! I challenge you to speak only kindness toward others – and about them. I beg you to realize that you don’t have to be jealous of anyone else. YOU are a child of the Most High God… heir to His throne and all the glory and riches of heaven. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else for even one second. In God’s eyes, you are second to none!
Also recognize this… the very people that you may speak unkindly toward – or talk about – the very ones you dislike or treat hypocritically… the ones you “love to hate” are also God’s children. They are equal to you in God’s eyes. So when you mistreat them, you are in essence mistreating God! Think about this. Do you really want to be even remotely guilty of mistreating your Heavenly Father? Do you want Him to think for even a split second that you could be less than all He has called you to be?
Kick jealousy, gossip, unkind speech, hypocrisy, deceit, and all forms of evil behavior to the curb. Be the child of God you have been called to be... operate in His goodness and mercy… and be the real deal for Jesus Christ. Truly… nothing less is good enough.
©2010 Debbie Robus
Stop being hateful! Quit trying to fool people, and start being sincere. Don't be jealous or say cruel things about others.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Your mom has probably told you at some point, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” Good advice! People can usually spot a phony a mile away… especially if that person makes a habit of telling others what they want to hear. You know the type… “fitting in” by being critical or cruel toward others, spreading gossip, and cutting down others in order to make themselves look better. These same people can turn on the charm when they come face-to-face with the very people they have criticized or berated. They know how to “work a crowd”… but not in a good way. Hopefully you are not one of these people!
There is no room in the life of a Christian for such phoniness. We don’t have time and energy to expend on anything except the things of Jesus… sharing love, grace, mercy, kindness, understanding… GOOD NEWS!
I dare you to make a concerted effort to smile more and see what happens! I challenge you to speak only kindness toward others – and about them. I beg you to realize that you don’t have to be jealous of anyone else. YOU are a child of the Most High God… heir to His throne and all the glory and riches of heaven. You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else for even one second. In God’s eyes, you are second to none!
Also recognize this… the very people that you may speak unkindly toward – or talk about – the very ones you dislike or treat hypocritically… the ones you “love to hate” are also God’s children. They are equal to you in God’s eyes. So when you mistreat them, you are in essence mistreating God! Think about this. Do you really want to be even remotely guilty of mistreating your Heavenly Father? Do you want Him to think for even a split second that you could be less than all He has called you to be?
Kick jealousy, gossip, unkind speech, hypocrisy, deceit, and all forms of evil behavior to the curb. Be the child of God you have been called to be... operate in His goodness and mercy… and be the real deal for Jesus Christ. Truly… nothing less is good enough.
©2010 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for October 5, 2010
Psalm 101:5
Anyone who spreads gossip will be silenced, and no one who is conceited will be my friend.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Believe it or not, there are people who thrive on gossip and fill their days with it. Do you know someone of whom it is said, “If you want to know what’s going on, just ask So-and-So.” I don’t mean local history or what events are coming up at school or in your community … I mean the down-and-dirty personal details of the lives of others. And people like this live in every community. Have you ever had someone sit with you for a visit, and you felt like the whole time you were talking, they were merely trying to pump you for information about certain situations and people? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?! I surely hope you are not one of these people!
Equally upsetting are those who “put on airs,” as my grandmothers used to say. These are people who look sideways at those who are not “like them” in some way – dress, apparent economic or social status, race, creed, color, and more. I have to admit, I’ve been somewhat convicted lately that I fall into this category for laughing at those “people of Wal-Mart” e-mails I get. “But those are hilarious!” you may be saying… and you’d be right. But I have realized that I am laughing at someone else’s expense. And while they very well may deserve it for dressing in underwear and fur boots or overexposing themselves inappropriately and choosing t-shirts that have indecent slogans, these are still children of our Most High God. He loves them as much as He loves you and me, regardless of their ridiculous choices. By laughing at them, even in private, we are setting ourselves apart – being conceited – and that does not make us a friend of God.
Let’s be honest. Gossip can be fun! We can get big belly laughs from the antics of others, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling “high and mighty.” But all it takes is one dose of being on the wrong end of gossip to know how hurtful this is – and how bad it feels. All it takes is one slip-up and feeling like someone thinks they are better than you to know that this is wrong, un-Godly behavior. And as this passage points out, some day, God will deal with those who gossip and are conceited … and I have a feeling that will be a very embarrassing day for many.
I don’t want to stand before God in heaven some day and have to admit that I gossiped and considered myself to be better than others. I don’t want to hear Him ask me why I thought this was a good idea … or to express disappointment in my behavior choices. More than this, I don’t want to dishonor Him now by choosing behaviors that displease Him. And hopefully, neither do you!
Let’s make a concerted effort to avoid gossip – and let’s operate in a spirit of humility. On any given day, we could bear the brunt of gossip and conceit from others … and we know that would feel awful. Let’s work to make sure that none of this comes from us. Let’s be the hands and feet of Jesus at every turn and share His Good News, love, grace and mercy with everyone we encounter.
©2010 Debbie Robus
Anyone who spreads gossip will be silenced, and no one who is conceited will be my friend.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
Believe it or not, there are people who thrive on gossip and fill their days with it. Do you know someone of whom it is said, “If you want to know what’s going on, just ask So-and-So.” I don’t mean local history or what events are coming up at school or in your community … I mean the down-and-dirty personal details of the lives of others. And people like this live in every community. Have you ever had someone sit with you for a visit, and you felt like the whole time you were talking, they were merely trying to pump you for information about certain situations and people? It’s frustrating, isn’t it?! I surely hope you are not one of these people!
Equally upsetting are those who “put on airs,” as my grandmothers used to say. These are people who look sideways at those who are not “like them” in some way – dress, apparent economic or social status, race, creed, color, and more. I have to admit, I’ve been somewhat convicted lately that I fall into this category for laughing at those “people of Wal-Mart” e-mails I get. “But those are hilarious!” you may be saying… and you’d be right. But I have realized that I am laughing at someone else’s expense. And while they very well may deserve it for dressing in underwear and fur boots or overexposing themselves inappropriately and choosing t-shirts that have indecent slogans, these are still children of our Most High God. He loves them as much as He loves you and me, regardless of their ridiculous choices. By laughing at them, even in private, we are setting ourselves apart – being conceited – and that does not make us a friend of God.
Let’s be honest. Gossip can be fun! We can get big belly laughs from the antics of others, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of feeling “high and mighty.” But all it takes is one dose of being on the wrong end of gossip to know how hurtful this is – and how bad it feels. All it takes is one slip-up and feeling like someone thinks they are better than you to know that this is wrong, un-Godly behavior. And as this passage points out, some day, God will deal with those who gossip and are conceited … and I have a feeling that will be a very embarrassing day for many.
I don’t want to stand before God in heaven some day and have to admit that I gossiped and considered myself to be better than others. I don’t want to hear Him ask me why I thought this was a good idea … or to express disappointment in my behavior choices. More than this, I don’t want to dishonor Him now by choosing behaviors that displease Him. And hopefully, neither do you!
Let’s make a concerted effort to avoid gossip – and let’s operate in a spirit of humility. On any given day, we could bear the brunt of gossip and conceit from others … and we know that would feel awful. Let’s work to make sure that none of this comes from us. Let’s be the hands and feet of Jesus at every turn and share His Good News, love, grace and mercy with everyone we encounter.
©2010 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for September 24, 2010
Proverbs 13:3
Keep what you know to yourself, and you will be safe; talk too much, and you are done for.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I’ve had to shake my head at some of the posts on Facebook, particularly from teens and young adults. “Joe 123 is in a relationship,” followed a few days later by “Joe 123 is single.” Or “Sue ABC is ‘it’s complicated.’” We’ve had some fun with a few folks who have been married for years but never filled out their personal profile info until lately, and then all of a sudden, “Jim XYZ is married!” Old news … Jim has been married for 30 years!
The thing is … Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets have become tremendous vehicles for gossip. There is so much room for interpretation – or mis-interpretation. There is room for things to become twisted and distorted in epic proportions. And more than ever, there is room for misunderstanding and misery. We’ve all come to understand TMI – too much information – and there truly is plenty to go around.
So our lesson for today is to put a lid on it! If more people were less eager to announce that they were in a relationship after the first glance, the relationship might have a chance to actually develop into something that could last! If we didn’t share all of our deepest thoughts and information with every “friend” we have, we might have smoother sailing in life. People love to talk, so the “friend who would never tell,” very well may tell another “friend who would never tell.” Do you see what I mean?
Think about what you are saying and sharing - everywhere - not just on social media networks. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing someone was standing up in a crowded room and telling everyone what you are about to say, then don’t share it with even your “closest friends.” If there is even a remote chance that what you are saying about someone could get back to them, you had better be 100% sure they would be okay with it. The better policy is to never repeat personal information or “news” to others. And while you are at it, think about what you are posting on Facebook, Twitter and other social media outlets. If you couldn’t tell the same things to your grandmother in person, they probably are not suitable for posting!
God wants us to be good stewards of our mouths. He wants us to spend time sharing His love, grace, mercy and Good News … not the latest gossip or unkind talk and opinions. Before we speak, let’s stop, take a breath … maybe even try the sentence out in our heads … and then ask ourselves if what we are about to say would be pleasing to God. This should determine how we proceed. It’s a tough order, but to do otherwise could have serious consequences. Keep what you know to yourself … please God … and preserve your reputation and your conscience!
©2010 Debbie Robus
Keep what you know to yourself, and you will be safe; talk too much, and you are done for.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
I’ve had to shake my head at some of the posts on Facebook, particularly from teens and young adults. “Joe 123 is in a relationship,” followed a few days later by “Joe 123 is single.” Or “Sue ABC is ‘it’s complicated.’” We’ve had some fun with a few folks who have been married for years but never filled out their personal profile info until lately, and then all of a sudden, “Jim XYZ is married!” Old news … Jim has been married for 30 years!
The thing is … Facebook, Twitter, and other social media outlets have become tremendous vehicles for gossip. There is so much room for interpretation – or mis-interpretation. There is room for things to become twisted and distorted in epic proportions. And more than ever, there is room for misunderstanding and misery. We’ve all come to understand TMI – too much information – and there truly is plenty to go around.
So our lesson for today is to put a lid on it! If more people were less eager to announce that they were in a relationship after the first glance, the relationship might have a chance to actually develop into something that could last! If we didn’t share all of our deepest thoughts and information with every “friend” we have, we might have smoother sailing in life. People love to talk, so the “friend who would never tell,” very well may tell another “friend who would never tell.” Do you see what I mean?
Think about what you are saying and sharing - everywhere - not just on social media networks. If you wouldn’t feel comfortable knowing someone was standing up in a crowded room and telling everyone what you are about to say, then don’t share it with even your “closest friends.” If there is even a remote chance that what you are saying about someone could get back to them, you had better be 100% sure they would be okay with it. The better policy is to never repeat personal information or “news” to others. And while you are at it, think about what you are posting on Facebook, Twitter and other social media outlets. If you couldn’t tell the same things to your grandmother in person, they probably are not suitable for posting!
God wants us to be good stewards of our mouths. He wants us to spend time sharing His love, grace, mercy and Good News … not the latest gossip or unkind talk and opinions. Before we speak, let’s stop, take a breath … maybe even try the sentence out in our heads … and then ask ourselves if what we are about to say would be pleasing to God. This should determine how we proceed. It’s a tough order, but to do otherwise could have serious consequences. Keep what you know to yourself … please God … and preserve your reputation and your conscience!
©2010 Debbie Robus
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