Showing posts with label tough love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tough love. Show all posts

Daily Devotional for June 20, 2016

Luke 17:3-4
“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”

Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson.  Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO.  All rights reserved.

I watched a teacher work with a child at Zola’s pre-K graduation as the students performed a little skit for the crowd.  This child apparently has special needs, and he kept repeatedly getting up and running across the stage with his arms flailing in the air.  The teacher would retrieve the child and speak to him, then gently place him back in line.  I lost track of how many times she did this.

Clearly this child has issues and could not help his behavior.  A lot of people we encounter each day don’t have a good excuse for their thoughts, words and actions.  And yet, Jesus calls on us to gently nudge them back in the right direction…and to forgive them over and again – even when they mistreat us or hurt us in some way.

You may be asking yourself, “Is she saying that we should forgive someone who is abusive and let them keep on harming us or the people we love?”  I am saying that we must forgive these people…but we don’t have to stick around for their mistreatment.  Forgiving someone and standing up for yourself are two entirely different actions.  And sometimes, the most loving and forgiving thing you can do for someone who is repeating a bad behavior is to walk away from them.

This is one of the hardest scripture passages for many of us to wrap our brains around.  We are not wired to forgive repeatedly.  We are not geared toward “tough love.”  Yet Jesus is calling us to practice both.  Who needs your forgiveness…maybe for the umpteenth time?  Who needs to hear, “I love you, but I cannot be around you while you are acting this way” as you practice extending grace, mercy and “tough love?”

I don’t know about you, but I’m going to have to ask for a hefty dose of patience and courage – on an almost-daily basis – in order to accomplish these demonstrations of Christian love!  And I must start today!  Because I know that Jesus is exercising these same qualities as He deals with me and my sins.  To treat others any less would basically say that what He does for me – and for you – is a waste of time and energy…that Jesus might as well give up on us!  I’m not prepared to do this…so the alternative is to follow Him and treat others as He has commanded.  And that means offering forgiveness over…and over…and over. Are you with me?


©2016 Debbie Robus

Daily Devotional for June 27, 2010

June 27 ~ Hebrews 13:6
That should make you feel like saying, "The Lord helps me! Why should I be afraid of what people can do to me?"

Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.

You may have heard of “tough love.” This is a behavior modification model that utilizes hard decisions and choices in order to force the other person to change his/her behavior. Examples would be parents who tell a son or daughter who is using drugs or drinking that he/she has to move out of their home until this behavior ceases. Or, a coach may be really stern with his/her players… forcing them to work hard, and using strong language and berating them with criticism on the court or field… but showing them much love and affection otherwise. Sometimes human beings get carried away with this approach, and their “tough love” becomes something far different.

We could argue that God operates in “tough love” sometimes – allowing us to go through things that are not all that pleasant for us – or maybe they challenge us greatly. In the end, they build our faith and strengthen us… and the bottom line is that God never left us… He was there to help us every step of the way. And this is important… because sometimes we go through situations where we have to risk our relationship with other people. We have to say to our friend or loved one, “I am concerned about how you are living. You are making poor choices, and it’s affecting everyone around you. Your behaviors are inappropriate. You need to grow up.” The other person may not appreciate your “concern” or your comments. This person may alienate you, try to discredit you to others, and/or lash out at you and try to hurt you. But if you feel God leading you to confront someone with “tough love,” you must do so.

We see in Hebrews 13:6 that “tough love” practiced under God’s guidance will carry God’s protection. In other words, if God tells you to be bold in your faith about anything toward anyone or any situation, He’s got your back! I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel 1000% better! I know that backlash, retribution, and alienation may still come… at least temporarily… but that’s where the faith comes into play. If we step out for God in faith, He will help us… no weapon formed against us will prosper… and ultimately, we will have nothing to fear.

©2010 Debbie Robus