Leviticus 19:17
"Don't secretly hate your neighbor. If you have something against him, get it out into the open; otherwise you are an accomplice in his guilt.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Have you ever known someone who rubbed you the wrong way? So many of us go around harboring a grudge against another person… and sometimes we don’t even realize it! And frankly, a lot of the people who irritate us have absolutely no clue that we feel this way. So we have a choice… we can “forgive and forget,” or we can hold onto the grudge and let it eat away at us and make us miserable. Now which do you think God prefers we choose?
For a lot of life’s insults and infractions, “forgive and forget” is the best policy. But there are times, as we read in the scripture, when clearing the air is both effective and necessary. There comes a time when you have to sometimes say to someone else, “I was offended by what you said/did,” and give them a chance to apologize and make amends.
If a friend or family member is taking advantage of your generosity, and you find yourself becoming bitter or feeling used, it may be time to say, “This is making me uncomfortable… I think we need to set some limits.” If you feel that someone is behaving in an inconsiderate manner toward you or someone else, and you are frustrated – or even angry – toward that person, you should probably pull them aside and say, “I do not feel this situation is right. How can we make some adjustments?”
This scripture passage is not a license to judge or condemn others, because to do so would be the same as harboring a grudge… and we would be bringing guilt and judgment on ourselves in the bargain. God wants us to rise above resentment and disagreement. He wants us to be so focused on loving each other and loving Him that we have no time for judgment, bitterness, resentments and grudges. God wants us to focus solely on things that serve His kingdom. And sometimes, in order to do this, we have to stop and clear the air… kindly and gently!
Where are you holding a grudge these days… if even a “minor” one? Who do you need to speak with and clear the air? What adjustments can you make that will improve the situation for everyone? This is the time to start. Get things out in the open, and begin to operate in love, kindness and honesty. Your relationship with your neighbor will improve. More importantly, so will your relationship with your Heavenly Father… and this is what really matters. Take the necessary measures to get over your grudges… and get on with the important business of operating in the love of Christ and serving as His disciple.
©2010 Debbie Robus
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