Psalm 133:1
It is truly wonderful when relatives live together in peace.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
In the 1970s, The Waltons was a television show about a family who lived in the mountains of Virginia during the Great Depression and World War II. Three generations lived together in one household, and for the most part, they all got along very well. Naturally there were moments of conflict, or there would have been no story line. But mostly, the stories were about how the family handled life challenges and pulled together to handle them. Each episode concluded with what seemed like an endless series of “Good nights!” between the family members as the house darkened.
In reality, very few families seem to resemble The Waltons. I think a more apt description (in TV terms) for a lot of us would be Family Feud! There is an old saying that goes something like, “You can pick your friends… but not your relatives.” And sadly, a lot of families have plenty of discord. It’s really nothing new… go back and read the story of Joseph and his brothers in the Old Testament… or read about Cain and Abel! We haven’t learned much, have we?!
At least once a month, I hear of someone who is having a problem with a sibling. This ranges from a rather tame disagreement over something like politics to an all-out war over an inheritance or settling the estate of another loved one. In some instances, the conflict escalates to the point where family members do not speak for years… if ever again. Some totally estrange themselves from their biological relatives and create a separate life altogether.
I think God must be especially grieved when we can’t seem to get along with members of our own family. He wants us to live in peace with ALL of our brothers and sisters… biological or otherwise. God places us together as family members for a reason. He equips us with the tools for living in harmony… but it is up to us to utilize them.
We don’t have to agree with our family members in every situation. We don’t have to look alike, act alike, live in the same neighborhood or community… or even attend the same church. But we need to be able to be in the same room with each other and be pleasant and civil. We must ask God to give us the ability to exercise patience, tolerance, and love for others – especially our own family members – and to control our tongue and our actions.
If we desire to please God, we must learn to operate in His grace, mercy, forgiveness and love toward all people… even our own family. Does yours more closely resemble The Waltons… or is it more of a Family Feud? I encourage you to ask God to help you do whatever is necessary to at least function somewhere more toward the middle of these two extremes.
Be sure that your words and actions are pleasing to God and honor His gifts to you. Ask Him to work in your family members, as well. You may never fully get along and agree on most points – or even really like each other. But with God’s help, you can operate in His love and maintain a bond. Take the first steps toward creating family harmony. Open the door for God to work toward peace and unity. We can’t pick our family members… but with God’s help, we can learn to love and tolerate each other!
©2012 Debbie Robus
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