Ephesians 4:5-6
For us there is only one Lord, one
faith, one baptism, and we all have the same God and Father who is over
us all and in us all, and living through every part of us.
The
Living Bible copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by
permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois
60188. All rights reserved.
Today is Nathan’s fourth
birthday. All three children came to visit us for the day while their
parents were at work. Nathan immediately spotted the birthday gifts we
had wrapped and placed on the table for him, so he opened those right
away…a Paw Patrol book, a Spider-Man mask that talks, and a Spider-Man
glove that makes noises like it is “shooting webs.” Zola watched with
anticipation as each gift was unwrapped…and she even helped with the
more difficult task of removing ribbons from the packages. Timothy
stood on the fringes and pretended not to care…but he was more than a
little interested in the new toys.
Even at 7, 5 and 4 years of
age, these children have interesting and unique personalities. Still,
there are common denominators. They all have the capacity to be loving
and spontaneously appreciative. They all enjoy swimming, Batman and
other superheroes, and certain television programs…like Paw Patrol, Team
Umizoomi, and Max and Ruby. They all love pizza - and dislike taking
naps! All three will do just about anything to “earn” a LifeSavers®
candy!
Like any children, there are times when each sibling is
“on one” and tries our last nerve. They occasionally test the
limits…say things to see how we will react…and stand their ground in
stubborn protest when things do not go their way. They can bicker with
each other and take a swing with the best of ‘em! Sibling rivalry is
very much in full force with these three!
But at the end of the
day, these precious little ones love each other fiercely…and we adore
them. And that is how it is supposed to be. This is also how it should
be among us as Christian brothers and sisters. We are unique
individuals…but part of one body…with one Father who adores us and loves
us unconditionally. He is in charge…we are called to faithfully obey
Him and serve at His pleasure.
God does not call all of us in
the same way – or to perform the same tasks. He designed us to have
unique characteristics, thoughts and ideas – and yes, to sometimes be
different. There will be occasions when we disagree – perhaps even
bicker a bit. But this must not last – or worse yet, fester into
something serious. We must carefully check our thoughts, words and
actions and remember that we are part of a very special and important
family…and we have to make every effort to get along with our
“siblings.”
Nothing warms my heart more than to see our three
little ones sharing – or hugging each other. I almost melt when one
encourages another, shows him/her kindness and courtesy and says,
“You’re doing a great job!” It makes my day when they receive a special
treat and ask, “What about the others?” As much as children can
understand what it means to be part of a family, these three are
starting to get it. And God wants you and me to get it, too. In fact,
we don’t have the “excuse” of being 7, 5, and four! God has to be
constantly shaking His head at how pigheaded and unkind we can often be
toward each other!
Today, spend some time in prayer and
communication with God. Ask Him to show you where you may have missed
the mark with your “brothers and sisters” in Christ. Call on Him to
help you turn these situations around…to do better moving forward…and to
always, ALWAYS remember WHOSE you are before you speak or make a move.
You and I are very much God’s precious little ones…His pride and joy.
Are we acting like it? Isn’t it time we did?
©2016 Debbie Robus
Showing posts with label sibling rivalry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sibling rivalry. Show all posts
Daily Devotional for January 23, 2015
Psalm 133:1
How wonderful, how beautiful,
when brothers and sisters get along!
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
I just read a book called 1-2-3 Magic*, written by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. This book is subtitled “Effective Discipline for Children 2-12”. Phelan has an interesting approach to parenting effectively – and with joy – and he discusses sibling rivalry in several sections of his book. Some of Phelan’s statistics were quite interesting. He notes that all siblings will fight, and those ages 3-7 fight about three or four times per hour, while some younger children fight as much as 6 times an hour. Phelan claims that kids ages 10-15 have the highest rate of sibling rivalry!
I won’t detail how Phelan recommends handling sibling rivalry…but he admits that there are times that a separation – or “time out” – is necessary for all parties. He advocates a “1-2-3” approach of “3 counts” and then a “time out”. I couldn’t help but think of counting to Timothy one day, and when I got to “2”, he said, “Don’t make me count to THREE!”
All you have to do is read the book of Genesis to see that sibling rivalry is nothing new! But here’s where I think this verse in Psalms applies to us as Christians. In too many areas of our life, we have stopped trying to get along. We’ve adopted the philosophy that “It’s my way or the highway”…and everyone else is just plain wrong if they disagree with us!
I believe that Psalm 133:1 is about getting along with ALL of our brothers and sisters…not just those with whom we share parents. God delights when His creations live in harmony…are patient, kind, tolerant and loving toward one another. Jesus demonstrated grace, mercy, and forgiveness…and He called on us to share these “fruits of the Spirit” with others…to honor God and all that He has bestowed upon us. And this means that we must hold our tongue (more often than most of us would like!)…and sometimes walk away and/or take a physical break from a “sibling” who is upsetting us in some way.
Ask God to show you how to operate more in love rather than “sibling rivalry”. Don’t take the “count” to three…learn to call on the power of the Holy Spirit and stop with the first hint of animosity or disagreement. Honor your relationship with God by developing love and tolerance for others…even if they make you “count to three”!
©2015 Debbie Robus
* http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140708/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1422029621&sr=1-1&keywords=123+magic&pebp=1422029624302&peasin=1889140708
How wonderful, how beautiful,
when brothers and sisters get along!
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
I just read a book called 1-2-3 Magic*, written by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. This book is subtitled “Effective Discipline for Children 2-12”. Phelan has an interesting approach to parenting effectively – and with joy – and he discusses sibling rivalry in several sections of his book. Some of Phelan’s statistics were quite interesting. He notes that all siblings will fight, and those ages 3-7 fight about three or four times per hour, while some younger children fight as much as 6 times an hour. Phelan claims that kids ages 10-15 have the highest rate of sibling rivalry!
I won’t detail how Phelan recommends handling sibling rivalry…but he admits that there are times that a separation – or “time out” – is necessary for all parties. He advocates a “1-2-3” approach of “3 counts” and then a “time out”. I couldn’t help but think of counting to Timothy one day, and when I got to “2”, he said, “Don’t make me count to THREE!”
All you have to do is read the book of Genesis to see that sibling rivalry is nothing new! But here’s where I think this verse in Psalms applies to us as Christians. In too many areas of our life, we have stopped trying to get along. We’ve adopted the philosophy that “It’s my way or the highway”…and everyone else is just plain wrong if they disagree with us!
I believe that Psalm 133:1 is about getting along with ALL of our brothers and sisters…not just those with whom we share parents. God delights when His creations live in harmony…are patient, kind, tolerant and loving toward one another. Jesus demonstrated grace, mercy, and forgiveness…and He called on us to share these “fruits of the Spirit” with others…to honor God and all that He has bestowed upon us. And this means that we must hold our tongue (more often than most of us would like!)…and sometimes walk away and/or take a physical break from a “sibling” who is upsetting us in some way.
Ask God to show you how to operate more in love rather than “sibling rivalry”. Don’t take the “count” to three…learn to call on the power of the Holy Spirit and stop with the first hint of animosity or disagreement. Honor your relationship with God by developing love and tolerance for others…even if they make you “count to three”!
©2015 Debbie Robus
* http://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140708/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1422029621&sr=1-1&keywords=123+magic&pebp=1422029624302&peasin=1889140708
Daily Devotional for January 13, 2014
Hebrews 12:14-17
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
In Genesis 25 the story of the “Esau syndrome” is explained. Esau was the firstborn son of Isaac. One day he came in from the fields, and found his younger twin brother, Jacob, cooking a big stew. Esau was starving, and he asked for a serving. I don’t know if Jacob was teasing him at first, or if he was truly serious…but he basically said to Esau, “I’ll give you a bowl of stew in exchange for your rights as the firstborn.” And Esau said, “Okay!” In other words, Esau traded his lifelong heritage and the blessings that God and Isaac intended to be his for a belly full of food that satisfied an immediate appetite.
When we picked Timothy and Zola up after Sunday school yesterday, Timothy’s teacher handed him an empty toilet paper roll covered in cotton balls and said, “Don’t forget your ‘Esau arm’!” All the way to the car, Timothy told his Uncle Greg, “Jacob LIED to his father! He LIED! We aren’t supposed to LIE!” The Sunday school lesson had come from Genesis 27… a further development in the “Jacob and Esau saga”. You should read the whole story for yourself, but here’s a quick synopsis. Esau was a very hairy redhead. Scripture doesn’t fully describe Jacob’s appearance, but it is assumed that he looked nothing like Esau.
Isaac was old, blind and dying, and he had told Esau that he would bless him and his future. Scripture indicates that Isaac was partial to Esau. Jacob and his mother Rebekah were jealous of this, and they concocted a scheme to cover Jacob’s arms in animal fur, so that he would feel and smell like Esau. He would then go to Isaac and ask for the blessing, and Isaac would give it – thinking he was giving this sacred sign to Esau. Pick up your Bible and read the rest of the story to get a full account…but let’s just say that Jacob got himself into a huge heap of trouble!
This story made a big impact on Timothy. He was very impressed with his “hairy arm”…and even more affected by the message that lying is NOT a good thing! I am not sure that this lesson for 4-year-olds fully explored trading God’s lifelong gift for a short-term appetite…but the seeds were planted for learning more about this at a future date. But it is most certainly time for us to understand this lesson and get the whole picture!
Here’s the thing…we cannot make ourselves look better in God’s eyes than the next guy. All we do is end up hurting ourselves and others in the process. Sibling rivalry is as old as Cain and Abel…and jealousy and the desire to satisfy human appetites is documented in the Garden of Eden! Because of the devil and his power, we are vulnerable to sin…we lie, cheat, gossip, get caught up in jealousies, bicker, and plot “evil” against others in the form of deceptions – and even retributions. These are often the “weeds” in the “garden” that is our life. But this is not God’s desire for us…and in Jesus, we find the perfect role model for how to treat others, regardless of our circumstances.
Every time I read the account of Jesus’ trial before the Romans and Pontius Pilate and the horrific beating He endured before a single nail was ever pounded into His flesh, I am reminded that the “indignities” and insults we experience are nothing by comparison. And yet, Jesus did not retaliate – although He surely could have! Instead, Jesus forgave…thieves on the cross, Roman soldiers who mocked Him…and ultimately, you and me!
I have to say, that little cardboard toilet paper roll with cotton balls made an impact on me, too. I will think of it when I think about how I treat others…how I react – and respond – to them. I will remind myself of the “Esau syndrome” and the “Esau arm”…and I will ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” I so want to get at least a glimpse of God face-to-face someday… and the Bible tells me this is an important part of how it’s done! Will you remember the “hairy arm” of Esau…and the compassion, grace and mercy of Jesus? Will you choose the latter as your model for daily living? Shouldn’t you?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
In Genesis 25 the story of the “Esau syndrome” is explained. Esau was the firstborn son of Isaac. One day he came in from the fields, and found his younger twin brother, Jacob, cooking a big stew. Esau was starving, and he asked for a serving. I don’t know if Jacob was teasing him at first, or if he was truly serious…but he basically said to Esau, “I’ll give you a bowl of stew in exchange for your rights as the firstborn.” And Esau said, “Okay!” In other words, Esau traded his lifelong heritage and the blessings that God and Isaac intended to be his for a belly full of food that satisfied an immediate appetite.
When we picked Timothy and Zola up after Sunday school yesterday, Timothy’s teacher handed him an empty toilet paper roll covered in cotton balls and said, “Don’t forget your ‘Esau arm’!” All the way to the car, Timothy told his Uncle Greg, “Jacob LIED to his father! He LIED! We aren’t supposed to LIE!” The Sunday school lesson had come from Genesis 27… a further development in the “Jacob and Esau saga”. You should read the whole story for yourself, but here’s a quick synopsis. Esau was a very hairy redhead. Scripture doesn’t fully describe Jacob’s appearance, but it is assumed that he looked nothing like Esau.
Isaac was old, blind and dying, and he had told Esau that he would bless him and his future. Scripture indicates that Isaac was partial to Esau. Jacob and his mother Rebekah were jealous of this, and they concocted a scheme to cover Jacob’s arms in animal fur, so that he would feel and smell like Esau. He would then go to Isaac and ask for the blessing, and Isaac would give it – thinking he was giving this sacred sign to Esau. Pick up your Bible and read the rest of the story to get a full account…but let’s just say that Jacob got himself into a huge heap of trouble!
This story made a big impact on Timothy. He was very impressed with his “hairy arm”…and even more affected by the message that lying is NOT a good thing! I am not sure that this lesson for 4-year-olds fully explored trading God’s lifelong gift for a short-term appetite…but the seeds were planted for learning more about this at a future date. But it is most certainly time for us to understand this lesson and get the whole picture!
Here’s the thing…we cannot make ourselves look better in God’s eyes than the next guy. All we do is end up hurting ourselves and others in the process. Sibling rivalry is as old as Cain and Abel…and jealousy and the desire to satisfy human appetites is documented in the Garden of Eden! Because of the devil and his power, we are vulnerable to sin…we lie, cheat, gossip, get caught up in jealousies, bicker, and plot “evil” against others in the form of deceptions – and even retributions. These are often the “weeds” in the “garden” that is our life. But this is not God’s desire for us…and in Jesus, we find the perfect role model for how to treat others, regardless of our circumstances.
Every time I read the account of Jesus’ trial before the Romans and Pontius Pilate and the horrific beating He endured before a single nail was ever pounded into His flesh, I am reminded that the “indignities” and insults we experience are nothing by comparison. And yet, Jesus did not retaliate – although He surely could have! Instead, Jesus forgave…thieves on the cross, Roman soldiers who mocked Him…and ultimately, you and me!
I have to say, that little cardboard toilet paper roll with cotton balls made an impact on me, too. I will think of it when I think about how I treat others…how I react – and respond – to them. I will remind myself of the “Esau syndrome” and the “Esau arm”…and I will ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” I so want to get at least a glimpse of God face-to-face someday… and the Bible tells me this is an important part of how it’s done! Will you remember the “hairy arm” of Esau…and the compassion, grace and mercy of Jesus? Will you choose the latter as your model for daily living? Shouldn’t you?
©2014 Debbie Robus
Daily Devotional for August 16, 2012
Psalm 133:1
It is truly wonderful when relatives live together in peace.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
In the 1970s, The Waltons was a television show about a family who lived in the mountains of Virginia during the Great Depression and World War II. Three generations lived together in one household, and for the most part, they all got along very well. Naturally there were moments of conflict, or there would have been no story line. But mostly, the stories were about how the family handled life challenges and pulled together to handle them. Each episode concluded with what seemed like an endless series of “Good nights!” between the family members as the house darkened.
In reality, very few families seem to resemble The Waltons. I think a more apt description (in TV terms) for a lot of us would be Family Feud! There is an old saying that goes something like, “You can pick your friends… but not your relatives.” And sadly, a lot of families have plenty of discord. It’s really nothing new… go back and read the story of Joseph and his brothers in the Old Testament… or read about Cain and Abel! We haven’t learned much, have we?!
At least once a month, I hear of someone who is having a problem with a sibling. This ranges from a rather tame disagreement over something like politics to an all-out war over an inheritance or settling the estate of another loved one. In some instances, the conflict escalates to the point where family members do not speak for years… if ever again. Some totally estrange themselves from their biological relatives and create a separate life altogether.
I think God must be especially grieved when we can’t seem to get along with members of our own family. He wants us to live in peace with ALL of our brothers and sisters… biological or otherwise. God places us together as family members for a reason. He equips us with the tools for living in harmony… but it is up to us to utilize them.
We don’t have to agree with our family members in every situation. We don’t have to look alike, act alike, live in the same neighborhood or community… or even attend the same church. But we need to be able to be in the same room with each other and be pleasant and civil. We must ask God to give us the ability to exercise patience, tolerance, and love for others – especially our own family members – and to control our tongue and our actions.
If we desire to please God, we must learn to operate in His grace, mercy, forgiveness and love toward all people… even our own family. Does yours more closely resemble The Waltons… or is it more of a Family Feud? I encourage you to ask God to help you do whatever is necessary to at least function somewhere more toward the middle of these two extremes.
Be sure that your words and actions are pleasing to God and honor His gifts to you. Ask Him to work in your family members, as well. You may never fully get along and agree on most points – or even really like each other. But with God’s help, you can operate in His love and maintain a bond. Take the first steps toward creating family harmony. Open the door for God to work toward peace and unity. We can’t pick our family members… but with God’s help, we can learn to love and tolerate each other!
©2012 Debbie Robus
It is truly wonderful when relatives live together in peace.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
In the 1970s, The Waltons was a television show about a family who lived in the mountains of Virginia during the Great Depression and World War II. Three generations lived together in one household, and for the most part, they all got along very well. Naturally there were moments of conflict, or there would have been no story line. But mostly, the stories were about how the family handled life challenges and pulled together to handle them. Each episode concluded with what seemed like an endless series of “Good nights!” between the family members as the house darkened.
In reality, very few families seem to resemble The Waltons. I think a more apt description (in TV terms) for a lot of us would be Family Feud! There is an old saying that goes something like, “You can pick your friends… but not your relatives.” And sadly, a lot of families have plenty of discord. It’s really nothing new… go back and read the story of Joseph and his brothers in the Old Testament… or read about Cain and Abel! We haven’t learned much, have we?!
At least once a month, I hear of someone who is having a problem with a sibling. This ranges from a rather tame disagreement over something like politics to an all-out war over an inheritance or settling the estate of another loved one. In some instances, the conflict escalates to the point where family members do not speak for years… if ever again. Some totally estrange themselves from their biological relatives and create a separate life altogether.
I think God must be especially grieved when we can’t seem to get along with members of our own family. He wants us to live in peace with ALL of our brothers and sisters… biological or otherwise. God places us together as family members for a reason. He equips us with the tools for living in harmony… but it is up to us to utilize them.
We don’t have to agree with our family members in every situation. We don’t have to look alike, act alike, live in the same neighborhood or community… or even attend the same church. But we need to be able to be in the same room with each other and be pleasant and civil. We must ask God to give us the ability to exercise patience, tolerance, and love for others – especially our own family members – and to control our tongue and our actions.
If we desire to please God, we must learn to operate in His grace, mercy, forgiveness and love toward all people… even our own family. Does yours more closely resemble The Waltons… or is it more of a Family Feud? I encourage you to ask God to help you do whatever is necessary to at least function somewhere more toward the middle of these two extremes.
Be sure that your words and actions are pleasing to God and honor His gifts to you. Ask Him to work in your family members, as well. You may never fully get along and agree on most points – or even really like each other. But with God’s help, you can operate in His love and maintain a bond. Take the first steps toward creating family harmony. Open the door for God to work toward peace and unity. We can’t pick our family members… but with God’s help, we can learn to love and tolerate each other!
©2012 Debbie Robus
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