1 Peter 3:8-12
Finally, all of you should agree and have concern and love for each other. You should also be kind and humble. Don’t be hateful and insult people just because they are hateful and insult you. Instead, treat everyone with kindness. You are God’s chosen ones, and he will bless you. The Scriptures say,
“Do you really love life? Do you want to be happy? Then stop saying cruel things and quit telling lies. Give up your evil ways and do right, as you find and follow the road that leads to peace.
The Lord watches over everyone who obeys him, and he listens to their prayers. But he opposes everyone who does evil."
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
On a recent issue of ABC’s 20/20*, the story San Antonio kindergarten teacher, Cynthia Ambrose, was shared. The title given the story was “Did This Teacher Cross the Line?”. Ambrose had a reputation for being a strict disciplinarian. So when a fellow teacher came to her in May 2012 with 6-year-old Aiden Neely, who school officials at Salinas Elementary described as a playground bully, Ambrose decided to teach the child a lesson. She stood him before the class and asked her students if they would like to show Aiden what it felt like when he mistreated them.
Ambrose maintains that before she could even blink, a child approached Aiden and hit him, and then the others started taking their turn. Aiden and his mother claim that Ambrose asked all of her students to line up and take a turn at bullying him. And Aiden’s own teacher, Barbara Ramirez, substantiated this claim in court, saying that Ambrose told the children…"Come on boys and girls, let's line up and let's bully Aiden. Come on, let's hit him harder.” The court convicted Ambrose of “Official Oppression” – a Class-A misdemeanor in Texas. Ambrose was sentenced to 30 days in jail and two years of probation, which means that she won't be able to teach again in Texas until at least after this time frame. Aiden’s mother moved him to another elementary school, where he says the teachers and students are nicer.
As a former kindergarten teacher, I have so many problems with this story. It bothers me that a teacher was proudly recognized in her school for her “tough love”. It bothers me that another teacher took a student to this woman for disciplinary action. But more importantly, if Barbara Ramirez did indeed stand aside and let Ambrose line up the students to take a turn at bullying this child, she should be in just as much trouble as Cynthia Ambrose. The other thing that disturbs me is the child’s testimony in court, which was aired in part on the ABC broadcast. Ambrose insists that the children did not line up and taunt or bully this child. But this little boy testified that they did. When asked by the prosecutor how many kids hit him in the back, he promptly stated, “I think, like 21.” That sounds like a “coached” answer to me. I have seen this happen in my own teaching experience, where a parent was so eager for his/her child to be right that the “correct” answers were given to the child to be repeated when questioned.
The bottom line is that a lot of people were wrong in this sequence of events. Many of them were hateful and insulting. More than one person in this story acted without kindness and humility. This situation truly was wrong on countless levels. But this is not an isolated incident. We are all guilty to some degree of these behaviors on any given day. Hopefully we don’t bully others. Surely we do not stand someone before a group of their peers and suggest that they retaliate. But we may strike back in some way as an individual.
We may set about to “put someone in their place”. This can be as blatant and direct as a verbal insult…or as subtle as a quiet manipulation or “cold shoulder”. At least once in our lives, I bet we have all muttered the sentence, “I’ll show him a thing or two!” We all practice our own version of “tough love”… but our tactics are not necessarily pleasing to God.
This story left me feeling very sad for all involved. Perhaps Cynthia Ambrose really didn’t mean for this to escalate. Maybe she did think that the worst that would happen to little Aiden was that he would be shamed into behaving more kindly. Maybe Aiden’s teacher, Barbara Ramirez, was at her rope’s end and truly thought a colleague could help. Maybe Aiden is something of an innocent victim who was targeted and/or mistreated by his teachers and his peers. In the end, nobody “won”. And this is the case so often when we operate out of anything but love, concern, and a big dose of humility.
When we take matters into our own hands and fail to stop, breathe, and ask God to guide us, some pretty awful things can happen. When we find ourselves in a pit, the only way out often appears to be lies and deception. When our backs are against the wall, we frequently come out clawing and retaliating. And God is heartbroken by the messes we often make.
Most young children are taught to “Stop, look and listen.” Somehow, we seem to forget these instructions as we grow into adulthood! This is a good time to study this scripture passage and think about our own lives…to ask ourselves where we need to do a better job of operating in patience, kindness, humility…and turning the other cheek. Talk to God about the situations in your life that trouble you…ask Him to show you how to react and respond to them. Prayerfully consider your actions, and don’t get caught up in the heat of the moment. Follow the road to peace…and let God handle the “discipline”.
©2014 Debbie Robus
* http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/teacher-cross-line-22530010
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