“Be alert. If you see your friend going wrong, correct him. If he responds, forgive him. Even if it’s personal against you and repeated seven times through the day, and seven times he says, ‘I’m sorry, I won’t do it again,’ forgive him.”
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
We need look no further than the New Testament Gospels to find a stellar example of Jesus telling Peter that he will deny any relationship between them…THREE TIMES in one night! In this instance, Jesus seems to have forgiven Peter even before the offenses were committed. Still, Peter says to Jesus, “That will never happen!” And when it does, he is genuinely remorseful. And Jesus forgives him – even though the outcome of these acts was tremendously hurtful to Him.
This is a tough passage for most of us. For starters, we don’t like to point out the shortcomings of others. Additionally, a lot of people aren’t really too happy that we mentioned their “sins” to them…and even fewer are apologetic. Think about it…I bet you can list several times that someone has hurt or offended you in some way by their words and actions…and you said nothing.
You can probably think of times that you did say, “That person you are talking about is my friend,” or “my family member is an addict or alcoholic…on welfare…a member of the LGBTQ community…an unwed mother…has spent time in jail…(you fill in the blanks). Whichever group the other person is disparaging may include someone you know and love…and telling them this may not make one whit of difference. I know, because I’ve uttered similar phrases before, and the person who was being so judgmental, unkind and unloving just kept right on talking and criticizing.
How do you forgive in these circumstances? Jesus tells us to forgive those who ask seventy times seven. But what about those who don’t ask? What about the person who commits sins and offenses - and shows little to no remorse? How do we forgive them? And should we?
In my own life, I have found that forgiveness is not optional. The Bible clearly tells us to treat others as we wish to be treated. As if this were not enough reason to forgive readily, I find that my failure to forgive allows room for the devil to fill my heart and mind with all sorts of bad things…an unsettled spirit, feelings of irritation and frustration, judgment and bitterness, and a sense of separation from God. In short, the inability to forgive will “eat you alive.”
Does this mean that we must be doormats and let others treat us badly? Absolutely not! There are times when we must distance ourselves from the people and circumstances that stand to offend or upset us. And we must recognize that there are people and situations over which we have absolutely no control. But we can ask God to give us a spirit of love, compassion, and forgiveness toward everyone. We can trust Him to handle what we cannot and ask Him for wisdom and courage to rise above the fray...to focus on His goodness rather than the ugliness of others.
One of life’s big lessons is to know when to speak out…and when to keep silent. Ask God for understanding and courage in this area…and for the ability to forgive all people with swift wisdom and confidence - regardless of whether they deserve it! Remember the example of Jesus and how He forgave Peter, and pattern your reactions and responses accordingly. Your health and well-being – physically AND spiritually – may just depend on it!
©2015 Debbie Robus
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