Proverbs 13:20
Wise friends make you wise, but you hurt yourself by going around with fools.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
There is an old adage that says something like, “You are known by the company you keep.” In other words, people will judge you based on your friends and acquaintances. Does this mean you don’t want to be seen in the company of those who are sick, needy, homeless or helpless? Absolutely not! Does this mean you can’t hang out with unchurched people or un-believers and minister to them? No way!
But if you are continually running with a crowd of people who have a reputation for drinking, drug use, and illegal or illicit behavior, you are going to be lumped with them in the eyes of many. If you are constantly in the company of adults who are blatantly vocal about social issues, politics or gossip, you may be considered “one of them.” If you go to local sporting events and sit with a group of parents and other adults who continually berate the referees and coaches over every single play and call, people will assume that you are on board with this… if not an active participant.
If you are known to be friends with people who have a reputation for being disciples of Christ and always speaking kindly and fairly, with a loving voice and heart for others, you will probably be thought of in much the same way. Call it “guilt by association” in a good way.
Does who you spend time with ensure that you will behave in a certain manner? Not necessarily… but it is a fairly good gauge. And distancing yourself from people you truly like who are behaving and speaking in a manner that belies your faith and your values can be very hard… but it has to be done.
This is why some have talked lately about cleaning up their “friends” on Facebook – and I’ve done this myself. If someone is making statements and claims that you feel do not line up with God’s instruction… or they are behaving in ways you know are improper or unkind at best – and immoral or illegal in the worst cases – you have no choice but to walk away.
I know these are hard choices. We don’t want to appear to be unkind. We don’t want these people to think we are judging them (even if we are) or that we feel we are superior in any way. But part of following Jesus – being His disciple – is setting ourselves apart from the mainstream. This doesn’t mean stepping away to stick out like a sore thumb and make a scene. Rather, we are to follow the example of Jesus and quietly go about sharing His message of salvation and operating in love, grace and mercy… imitating Him at every turn.
We have a choice, albeit a hard one sometimes… we can choose to follow Jesus and choose to associate with people who operate within His framework and according to His will... or we can hang out with those who are foolish enough to think they can do things their own way and “write the rules” themselves. And our decision does matter!
How are you choosing these days? Are you willing to make necessary changes and hard decisions? Are you willing to ask God to give you the wisdom and will power to move closer to Him and adjust your circle of friends and acquaintances accordingly? Are you really ready to be His disciple 100% of the time?
©2010 Debbie Robus
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