Luke 6:38
"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don't condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you'll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you'll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity."
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
I was talking with my neighbor the other day about a mutual friend who is the primary caregiver for her 103-year-old mother. Several years ago this friend and her husband moved her mother here from another community to share their home. The lady is now blind and virtually deaf… and wheelchair bound. You can imagine the stress this situation places on her daughter, son-in-law, and extended family… or maybe you can’t! But I said to my neighbor, “I think so often of Anne. As much as she loves her mother, I know this is a huge burden.”
The friend replied, “Oh… it’s not that bad… she has children who help her.” This is the same friend who only a couple of years ago was caring for her own mother… and telling me often how difficult and challenging it was! I am here to tell you that anyone who cares for an elderly loved one – especially those who do so at home – experiences challenges and a lot of stress! This woman may not openly share her frustrations and difficulties with her friends, but she surely has them! Others may see someone who seems to have it all together all the time… someone who is upbeat and positive. But on the inside, he/she may be anything but cheerful and confident.
On the other hand, we may make snap judgments about someone, based on an erratic action or a snippy comeback, missing completely that something is wrong in their life… that they are experiencing hardness. I have said this before, but I distinctly remember one weekend in February 1998, when my dad was gravely ill and at death’s door. I dashed into Wal-Mart to pick up a few groceries. People were cheerfully purchasing Valentines, candy and flowers. Everywhere I turned, “love was in the air.” People were smiling and laughing - talking about plans for their special holiday or something else fun. All I wanted to do is scream to anyone who would listen, “STOP the world! My daddy is dying!” But instead, I smiled in return and hurriedly left the store.
Before you pin on my medal for bravery and patience, be assured that I have made my fair share of brash, rude comments – and then some! – when life has been stressful and challenging. I am often critical, judgmental, and hard on people. There are plenty of times when I fail to consider the other person’s heart. I am just as guilty as the next guy of picking on people and jumping on their failures. But I am trying so very hard to do better – to be better.
There are a lot of people who have judged each of us unfairly. I’m sure there are those who wonder why I am not doing more… participating in more ministries in my church… getting more done with my days. I know there are those who think I don’t do enough for my own grandmother and family… or think I waste too much time on sewing and writing. There are plenty of people who are making similar judgments about you. They may be evaluating your character, your behavior, how you use your time and talents, and your attitude in general… all without having a clue about what is truly in your heart. They have no idea what God’s call is on your life… or how you are answering Him.
The point is this… if we want others to stop judging and criticizing us… we have to take the first step and do this for them. If we want others to go easy on us and lift us up, rather than kick us when we are down, we have to start the process by doing this for those in our circle and beyond. We have to stop paying attention to what others think… stop reacting to what others say about us or anyone else… and open our hearts and minds to the fact that we all have “issues.” Everybody is dealing with something… and how we treat each other can have a direct effect on the impact of these matters.
Be a humble, gentle person. Put on your “rose-colored glasses,” so to speak, and see others with a generous heart. Recognize that God loves us, warts and all, and we are to do the same for each other. Take the first step toward creating an atmosphere where God has room to build up His children in love and kindness and to use all of us to bless each other and strengthen His kingdom. When you have the urge to pick on someone… ask God to give you the courage and strength to give them a little slack.
Giving, not getting, is the way… and this begins with our attitude and how we treat others. Be the one who jump-start this process in your own circle of friends and influence. Always give as good as you wish to get… or better… and watch the blessings multiply for everyone.
©2012 Debbie Robus
No comments:
Post a Comment