Exodus 20:12
Respect your father and your mother, and you will live a long time in the land I am giving you.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
You can’t make this stuff up! I tried and tried to figure out what to say about today’s scripture passage. I prayed and prayed… and I finally told God, “LORD, I just have nothing to share that seems right. No words are coming. Maybe this is not the verse you want me to use today.” I went back to my outline and selected the next passage… Ephesians 6:1-3… “Children, you belong to the Lord, and you do the right thing when you obey your parents. The first commandment with a promise says, ‘Obey your father and your mother, and you will have a long and happy life.’” Clearly, God wants me to address this passage today! And because I have the utmost respect for my Heavenly Father, I will do what He asks!
You may not be aware of this, but November 2013 is “National Adoption Month.” My church is incredibly supportive of a foster care program in our state… The C.A.L.L. – Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime. At a recent presentation during a worship service, several foster parents shared the blessings – and challenges – of parenting foster children. They also introduced us to the photo of an 8-year-old boy in the foster care system who would love to find a “forever home”… and they asked us to pray for him. I am certain that he will find a parent or parents who will nurture him into adulthood… and I have tremendous respect for adults who are willing to open their hearts and their homes to these orphans.
This brings me to my thoughts for today. How do some children end up in foster care or needing to be adopted in the first place? I wish I could say that every parent is genuinely worthy of our respect. But we all know there are some rotten people in this world… and more than a few of them are parents. It’s not that these are necessarily bad people… they just don’t have the proper parenting skills and/or the right circumstances for creating a positive and loving atmosphere for children. And on any given day, we’ve all been a crummy “parent”. I know there have been times that I have snapped at Timothy or Zola and deeply regretted it almost instantly. The children I love more than anything have sometimes provoked me to speak harshly… if even for an instant. And all of the apologies and remorse in the world cannot take back my hasty words.
I know that there are parents who claim to love their children, yet they neglect them terribly and/or abuse them – sometimes beyond what most humans can comprehend. Many are verbally offensive. In one breath they are calling these children every name in the book and telling them how “You ruined my life,” and in the next breath they are saying, “I love you! I can’t live without you!”
I also understand that there is a difference between “biological parents” and those who truly love, nurture and rear (or “parent”) children. And while I believe God calls us to respect ALL people as His creatures, I have concluded that He is particularly referring in this passage to those who have physically “done the work” of parenting. Let’s face it… some have done a better job than others. Regardless of what kind of parents, grandparents, or parental figures you have/had, God calls us to respect them… to honor them. Does this mean you must approve of and/or endorse everything they say and do? No! Does this mean you have to put their wishes and needs above your own… or make them the center of your universe? Absolutely not! Should children in unsafe or abusive situations excuse their parents for this treatment? Not in the least!
So how do we respect our parents? How do you love and “respect” someone who is abusive, unkind or neglectful? I believe that God is calling us to be loving, gracious, merciful, forgiving, morally upright, and kind to others. Regardless of our situation, when we model Jesus’ example to others, we can’t help but be respectful and honorable. And honestly, if you don’t forgive others in your heart for any offenses they may have committed, it will eat you alive… and YOU will be the loser. Look at this scripture again. God says that when you respect your parents, you will live a long time in the land He gives you. That means you will be BLESSED! God… your HEAVENLY FATHER… will take care of you, meet your needs, and give you strength and peace.
You may have wonderful parents who do an excellent job of caring for you, loving you, and offering you incredible nurture and support. Or you may not have much of a relationship with your parents, for a myriad of reasons. God is not asking you to “look the other way” and allow anyone to mistreat or abuse you. But you must always treat your parents with love and kindness. God calls us to honor and respect Him by showing respect for those He allowed to give us life. It may not always be easy or feel right… but ultimately, I believe you will experience God’s blessings when you honor Him in all things.
Recently on NBC’s Today, correspondent Dr. Nancy Snyderman was featured in a story about her return to Little Rock, Arkansas, for a reunion of Snyderman’s now 27-year-old adopted daughter, Kate, and her birth mother, Cheryl. Of course Kate had questions… and Cheryl explained that she was young and felt unable to properly care for her. She said, “I have always been proud of you. Being a single teenage mom, I couldn't give you a life that you would amount to anything. I know you will amount to a lot of stuff right now.” Kate spoke of the wonderful childhood she had been given… and she thanked both mothers for their part in this. She told Cheryl… “I have had a wonderful life. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank you for everything you have given me. In her own way, to the best of her ability, this young woman respects the woman who gave her life… but she also respects and honors the woman she calls “Mom”.
God is asking us to recognize our parents and those who have “parented” us…to respect the role they played… and to treat each and every one as Jesus treats us. Whether you find this easy or challenging, it IS a command of our Father. If you respect Him, you will do this. You may not receive immediate blessings or feedback, but God has promised that He will bless you when you honor His commands. And God never breaks a promise.
©2013 Debbie Robus
No comments:
Post a Comment