1 Thessalonians 5:13-15
Get along among yourselves, each of you doing your part. Our counsel is that you warn the freeloaders to get a move on. Gently encourage the stragglers, and reach out for the exhausted, pulling them to their feet. Be patient with each person, attentive to individual needs. And be careful that when you get on each other’s nerves you don’t snap at each other. Look for the best in each other, and always do your best to bring it out.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Rex was the boy who sat beside me at my table in first grade. One day, he threw up his morning milk. Since I was not a fan of morning milk time in the first place, I scooted my chair away from the ugly puddle, for fear of becoming nauseous myself. There were no intercoms or cell phones in this dank concrete block building with its cold cement floor, but I’m sure that somehow the janitor was summoned. Meanwhile, my teacher, Mrs. Troy, walked over to the table and snapped, “Debra, if that is getting your goat, then MOVE!” I never said a word. I had the deepest respect for Mrs. Troy… call it a mixture of admiration and a healthy dose of fear. I’d seen that little wooden ping pong paddle she kept perched atop the chalk rail at the reading circle! I sat stock still and waited for the janitor to come sprinkle that dusty clay mixture over the puddle and wait for it to absorb so he could sweep it away.
I didn’t dare move, as Mrs. Troy had suggested. But don’t you find it amazing that some 50 years later, I still vividly remember that incident and her words? I remember going home and telling my mother what she said… crushed in spirit at what I perceived as an insult and a total lack of empathy for my feelings. A woman I had deeply revered and respected had totally betrayed me… and even as a six-year-old first grader, it somewhat broke my spirit. To be honest, for all of the things I lovingly remember about Mrs. Troy… that lone incident is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of her even today.
You can insert your jokes and jabs here… “So you were scarred for life by a first-grade puking incident?!” You can declare me incredibly sensitive… overly so, to allow something so minor to affect me for half a century. But here’s the point. We truly do not know what others are thinking and feeling. We have no clue what effect our words and actions toward them can have. As a former teacher, I can assure you that I get it… the last thing you want in your classroom in the middle of a busy morning is for some kid to upchuck his/her milk! I still remember the morning I was collecting lunch money and a child approached me and threw up all over my open-toed shoe… and it was not pretty! And I remember distinctly that I did NOT snap at this child… perhaps because of my own childhood experience.
Still, you have to look at it from the other person’s perspective. My teacher apparently didn’t consider how close I was to joining Rex in this disgusting “upheaval”. She probably didn’t mean to snap at me… but once words are spoken, they are very hard to retract. And apologies (if/when offered) have fairly little relevance for young children. They say “Sorry!” all the time without meaning it!
What has all of this got to do with us today? Plenty! We need to work harder at respecting each other. We need to choose our words and actions more carefully… to be kinder… to look for the best in others and point this out rather than their faults. We need to take deep breaths and count to ten before responding, and we need to look for those who could use a little encouragement – and give it to them! And we need to ask God to help us with every bit of this and more… to equip us with wisdom, compassion, and common sense!
An acquaintance of mine recently lost her husband in an airplane crash. She wrote a blog post about how people are constantly asking her, “How are you doing?” She said she knows the desired response is, “I’m fine.” But the truth is… she isn’t “fine”… she is deeply hurt, scared, lonely, and feeling her way through the days in a world that she feels is spinning around her while she stands still. Several people commented to her and told her that they never fully understood these emotions until they lost someone dear to them… and now they get it. If nothing else, the experiences of grief and loss – and personal disrespect - have a way of making us more tender and sensitive to the needs and feelings of others around us… or they should.
We shouldn’t have to be thrust into a situation such as the death of a loved one before we become more attuned to the feelings of others. We should be looking for ways to show our respect for others… to offer them kindness, grace, mercy, encouragement, and support. We should recognize that every person has value – and needs… and our job as Christian disciples is to meet them right where they are. No one wants or deserves to be disrespected… not even a six-year-old. Look around. Who needs your respect today? What will you do to find the best in others and bring it to the forefront? Is there someone you have disrespected who needs to hear from you today? Will you make an effort to bring out the best in others and meet their needs, in Jesus’ name? Shouldn’t you?
©2013 Debbie Robus
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