Romans 12:14-21
Ask God to bless everyone who mistreats you. Ask him to bless them and not to curse them. When others are happy, be happy with them, and when they are sad, be sad. Be friendly with everyone. Don’t be proud and feel that you are smarter than others. Make friends with ordinary people. Don’t mistreat someone who has mistreated you. But try to earn the respect of others, and do your best to live at peace with everyone.
Dear friends, don’t try to get even. Let God take revenge. In the Scriptures the Lord says, “I am the one to take revenge and pay them back.”
The Scriptures also say, “If your enemies are hungry, give them something to eat. And if they are thirsty, give them something to drink. This will be the same as piling burning coals on their heads.”
Don’t let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
When my sister, Suzanne, and I were little, we played “Beauty Pageant” a lot. We would dress up in old gowns that belonged to Mom and our “Aunt” Martha, and we would have evening gown and talent competitions. I don’t think we ever included swimsuits…but maybe. For us, it was all about the gowns and the talent. We were both in our first pageant at age five – a local “rite-of-passage” event that virtually every five-year-old girl in the county experienced. We girls had fun…I think a lot of the moms and grandmothers were more cutthroat about the competitive side of things!
The year I entered, I was crowned the winner. Suzanne entered the following year, and she was awarded one of the runners-up. By all rights, I believe she should have won, too. She played “Up a Lazy River” on the ORGAN, for goodness sake - and she was good enough to rival Jo Ann Castle on “The Lawrence Welk Show”! (Okay, I just dated myself big time!) But just before the final evening gown parade, the mother of another contestant accidentally stepped on Suzanne’s gown backstage, and she tore a delicate netting ruffle. Mom and others desperately tried to pin the ruffle back on the gown as the parade of contestants marched out onto the stage…but Suzanne was crying her eyes out when she hit the stage. And the judges selected one of her classmates as “Queen”.
In high school, I participated in “beauty pageants”…mainly because I thought they were fun – although I’ll admit, there was a competitive edge to them. I placed several times, but I never won…and that was okay with me. I would have loved to win, but I was happy with a “runner-up” position. But a fellow contestant – who actually did win once – was NOT a happy camper when she lost. She declared that the contest had been rigged. She spoke to judges afterward and questioned the scoring system. And she invited me to join her in trying to embarrass the winner the following year by outperforming her and “proving” that the girl had no talent.
I’ll be honest. This girl probably shouldn’t have won. The contest was most likely rigged. But had someone else been crowned the queen, I’m not sure it would have been this unhappy runner-up who threw such a fit. And honestly, the “winner” truly needed the win. She needed the ego boost and all of the recognition, celebrations and accolades that came with winning. So I was glad for her to have them.
Too many of us are so busy trying to even the score or “show somebody a thing or two” that we have almost forgotten what the issue was to begin with! We are so mired in our own hurt that we cannot stop to consider the other person. Did the contestant who didn’t truly “deserve” the win know that she was inadequate? Did she feel realize that someone might have finagled the scores in order for her to win…and did this embarrass her? Was she waiting for someone to come forward and say, “You cheated!”? How did she feel toward those who finished behind her and accepted their “loss” graciously? Was she grateful?
Have you ever stopped to think that the “other person” might need to be right more than you? Have you ever considered that the person who hurt you so deeply – who wounded you in ways you can’t even describe – is hurting, too? Maybe he/she feels deep remorse and doesn’t dare come to you for forgiveness because of a fear that you might withhold it…or tear into them! Maybe this person is so deeply ashamed of what transpired that he/she cannot even speak of it now. Or maybe you are letting grudges and perceived transgressions color your daily living and erode your heart…while the rest of the world moves ahead unaware of your pain and dissatisfaction.
My point is that of the Apostle Paul to the Romans. We will never experience anything that Jesus hasn’t encountered…in spades! We will never be mistreated, misunderstood, abused, ridiculed, humiliated, ignored, shamed and unloved as much as Jesus was…by countless people. And yet, He never retaliated. Jesus never looked upon a single one of them with anything but incredible love and compassion. He never sought revenge…and even on the cross, He asked God to forgive those who didn’t fully comprehend what they were doing.
Now what makes us think that we have the right to harbor grudges…to seek revenge…to operate in anything but love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, kindness and compassion? Don’t you get it? We are all WINNERS in Jesus Christ! There are no “runners-up” in His kingdom. And yes, we’ve all had our dress stepped on a few times. But let’s get over ourselves! Let’s set aside our egos…give our deepest hurts and indignations to God…and ask, “LORD, where do I go from here?” I’m betting you already have a pretty good idea how He will answer. But ask Him anyway!
Let God handle the judgment – and the justice. Trust Him to make things right. Love even when it seems like the hardest thing in the world to do. Believe me...I’m right there with you sometimes. There are some really, really unlovable people in this world! But love them anyway…in Jesus’ name. You are a winner with Jesus. He will crown you with His glory. Now that’s a “win” I’m willing to fight for… aren’t you?
©2014 Debbie Robus
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