Romans 12:20-21
Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he’s thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don’t let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
Forty-something years ago, when I was in junior high and high school, we didn’t talk about bullies as much as people do today…but I had one. And it turns out that this person bullied a lot of my friends, also. Maybe it was just as bad for them as it was for me, but I felt like I was one of her favorite targets. I didn’t say much about it to my mom, so she probably had no clue just how miserable it was for me at times. When I did mention something, she would remind me to be kind to others and say things like, “People only tease you because they like you.” Today, we all know better about many instances of bullying. We’ve all read and heard the stories of children who were taunted and badgered horrifically…often with tragic consequences. Thankfully, my situation – and that of my friends – was never this severe, and we all appear to have survived our teenage years fairly unscathed.
As adults, most of my friends and I have been incredibly blessed. But the person who bullied us has not fared as well. Her life has had a series of ups and downs…and included some pretty significant struggles. When I learned of one instance, I sent word to her that I was praying for her… that I was sorry for her troubles and hoped things improved quickly. A few months later, I saw her in person, and she was incredibly kind and complimentary.
I will admit… there was a part of me that wanted to scream, “Do you know how you tormented me when we were growing up? Do you know how miserable you made life for me and many of my friends on an almost-daily basis?” (There was also a part that wanted to thumb my nose and say, “Nyah, nyah, nyah-nyah, nyah!” But something told me that either: 1) she doesn’t have a clue what she did; or 2) she knows full well how badly she treated us, and she is incredibly remorseful. I went with option #2.
In our brief encounter that day, it seemed as if this woman was almost relieved – even grateful – that I did not bring up the past. I got a real sense that she may have expected me to either snub her as she approached me - and refuse to speak to her - or to rebuke her vehemently for what she had done. I could almost feel the appreciativeness in her voice and demeanor when I did neither.
In the end, we both came away with a positive impression. Another school friend once said to me, “I guess it must be satisfying in some way to know that her life didn’t turn out all that well.” I told her that nothing could be farther from the truth. We are not supposed to delight in revenge or another person’s misfortune, regardless of what they might have done or whether we feel they “got what they had coming.” I could have even excused this person by saying, “You treated me so terribly when we were growing up…and I have forgiven you for every bit of that.” But I didn’t have to say anything…my actions and my lack of retaliation spoke volumes. I don’t know if she felt better afterward…but I surely did!
Throughout the Bible, there are verses that support the adage that we are to “Kill ‘em with kindness.” Every single one of us will be insulted, mistreated in some way, knocked down or betrayed. Hateful words will fly…unkind actions and injustices will be inflicted upon us. And the Bible is very clear that we are to continue to treat others with compassion and generosity.
Regardless of how much or how little you have…whether your life has been a “bed of roses” or littered with “thorns”, share love and compassion with others. Operate out of the blessings and abundance of God’s grace and mercy in your own life. Income and status do not determine needs of the heart. Give freely to all who are in need, and “kill ‘em with kindness”. Never operate in evil or retaliation. Surprise others with goodness…and you might just surprise yourself in the process!
©2014 Debbie Robus
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