At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”
Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.
“The kingdom of God is like a king who decided to square accounts with his servants. As he got under way, one servant was brought before him who had run up a debt of a hundred thousand dollars. He couldn’t pay up, so the king ordered the man, along with his wife, children, and goods, to be auctioned off at the slave market.
“The poor wretch threw himself at the king’s feet and begged, ‘Give me a chance and I’ll pay it all back.’ Touched by his plea, the king let him off, erasing the debt.
Scripture quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs, CO. All rights reserved.
“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat.NBC News is reporting today that a former aerospace executive has been sentenced to eight months in prison for slapping a 19-month-old toddler aboard a Delta Air Lines flight from Atlanta to Minnesota last February…because the child was crying. The man’s attorney blamed his behavior on alcoholism…and the fact that this man was returning home from Atlanta after removing his son from life support following an insulin overdose. The troubled father apologized to the child’s mother in court, saying, “I made the most terrible day in my life much worse for myself and others."
Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.
Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.
Forgiveness does not excuse anything.
You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness.”
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity*
In his book The Shack, Wm. Paul Young portrays a father who is distraught over the abuse and murder of his four-year-old daughter. He wrestles with his feelings of anger and unforgiveness… toward the perpetrator, God - and himself. God guides this man to some profound realizations about forgiveness, as noted in the quotes cited earlier.
The father comes to realize something that we must all face…that we must forgive others because God forgives us. Over and again, we throw ourselves at His feet and beg for mercy, and He grants us a reprieve. This does not excuse our sin… just as it does not excuse the horrific abuse and murder of a tiny child… or a drunken, grief-stricken father who strikes a crying toddler. I do not know if the mother of this child forgave the man who slapped him. But I do know that her failure to do so will gnaw at her for years to come.
And so we are left to think about our own lives. A pastor friend of mine commented recently that there had been times in his life when he wished someone would have actually punched him in the nose rather than deliver a hurtful comment. We can probably all relate to that. Words can truly pierce our hearts. Unkind gestures, physical abuse and neglect, deception and betrayal are all despicable behaviors…but a hateful comment or personal rejection often seems far more painful to endure.
Yet the real damage to our souls comes from our own unforgiveness. Whether the “perpetrator” asks for it or not… we must listen to Jesus and find a way to forgive this person in our heart. In order to be whole…complete in Jesus… we must forgive as He did. Surely no one has endured more insult or injury than Jesus did on the cross…yet, in Him we find the perfect model of forgiveness. Jesus is not asking us to condone mistreatment… He is showing us another way to consider it. So while I am still outraged that a man would slap a 19-year-old baby on an airplane, I am asking God to give me a sense of mercy and compassion for his struggles and the horrific experiences that could lead him to do such a thing. He will now spend eight months in prison – and a lifetime afterward – considering his misdeeds…and for his heartaches and miseries, I believe Jesus wants us to be concerned.
I would be lying if I told you that forgiveness is easy for me. I have a feeling that if we were totally honest, most of us would have to admit that we struggle with this every single day to some degree. But we can get better at it! We can learn to operate more in compassion and less in offense. We must work at “erasing the debt” in our heart and offering mercy to the other guy… even when we would rather not – or maybe especially then!
Search your heart today and make a mental list of people and situations you need to see in a different light. Ask God to give you a healthy dose of compassion… to strengthen you and shield you as you release your grip on the other guy’s throat (if only figuratively) and start to strengthen your grasp on His hand. I assure you that I will be doing this, also. I am trusting God to show me how to forgive others completely…and to experience His wholeness in the process. What about you?
©2014 Debbie Robus
*The Shack ~ http://www.theshackbook.com/
No comments:
Post a Comment