Proverbs 16:33
We make our own decisions, but the LORD alone determines what happens.
Scripture taken from the Contemporary English Version © 1991,1992, 1995 by American Bible Society, Used by Permission.
For some time now, I have been in prayer for a friend who is seriously ill. In visiting with family members, the comment has been made, “We’re not ready to lose him.” Oh, how I get that! I remember distinctly when my dad suffered a stroke the day after surgery to repair a hernia. He was paralyzed from the chest downward, and by evening, his feet had begun to turn black. My dad was already battling renal failure and had to undergo nightly dialysis. This development was a cruel blow on top of his other maladies.
Because the paralysis was impeding blood flow to the lower portion of my dad’s body, the doctor told us, “We may have to remove his feet.” For someone like my dad… a “working man” in his day… a welder who was comfortable hoisting heavy metal, pulling a 40-foot fifth-wheel down the road behind a dually pickup or bush-hogging a dozen acres of land in a day on his tractor… this would have been worse than death. Rendering him unable to care for himself at home and relegated to a skilled-care facility (which is where he would have had to be to receive the care he needed) would have been the ultimate insult for him. Suddenly, my grandmother’s phrase “There’s lots worse things than dying” rang in my ears.
As I spoke with a lifelong close friend of my mom’s on the phone that night, she kept saying, “We just have to pray that your daddy gets better!” I told her, “No… we have to pray for God’s will” – and I meant it. See, we get a vote, but God has the final say. And honestly, we can’t possibly know what He knows… or what is truly best like He can.
My dad did not survive the night. He suffered a massive heart attack and went to heaven to be with Jesus, my brother, and others who had passed before him. And crazy as it sounds… as much as I miss him every day… I was at peace with this. Oh, I was sad… and I cried and grieved… and I still do at times. But God knew as well as I did – or better - that this was the best outcome for my daddy.
Some nearly twelve years later, I have experienced the loss of many loved ones, and each one has been bittersweet. My vote has often been to let them stick around… but God’s chose otherwise… and I accept that. And truly, these experiences have given me strength and courage to trust God’s choices in other areas, too. I always have a vote… and I don’t hesitate to let God know how I really feel. But in the end, I have to defer to His wisdom and add… “if it is Your will, LORD.”
When we let God have the final say… knowing we may not like it… we can find peace and comfort in His decisions. We can find blessings we weren’t expecting, and strength we didn’t know we had. I pray my friend gets well… and I pray for peace for his family. I don’t want to lose him, either. But at the same time, I believe his healing may very well come in heaven rather than on earth. I pray that others who are battling illnesses, hardships, tough decisions, and more might have the outcomes they seek. But I know that God may have other – much better – plans!
However God decides… whatever He chooses in each circumstance… I know that He is holding all of us in the palm of His hand… and He truly does have the final say. And because I know that His promises are sure and He is all-knowing… full of power, grace, mercy, and amazing love… this is good enough for me. What about you?
©2011 Debbie Robus
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