Matthew 18:15-17
“If a fellow believer hurts
you, go and tell him—work it out between the two of you. If he listens,
you’ve made a friend. If he won’t listen, take one or two others along
so that the presence of witnesses will keep things honest, and try
again. If he still won’t listen, tell the church. If he won’t listen to
the church, you’ll have to start over from scratch, confront him with
the need for repentance, and offer again God’s forgiving love.
Scripture
quotations from The Message. © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002
by Eugene Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress, Colorado Springs,
CO. All rights reserved.
This might be some of the
best advice in the entire Bible. Countless heartaches could be avoided
if people practiced these three steps…particularly the first one. Too
many times, we get into a disagreement with someone – or we are offended
in some way – and instead of confronting the person with whom we are at
odds, we run to every other person we can find and tell our tale of
woe. This leads to gossip, ill will among people who rightfully don’t
“have a dog in the hunt,” and a lot of misunderstandings that could have
perhaps been avoided.
While the steps outlined by Jesus are
geared toward issues of the church (and let’s not pretend that those
don’t happen!)…there is a practical application for us, as well. I
don’t always get this right – and I am so sorry when I don’t! But let’s
try to always go right to the source when we have a problem. Let’s
discuss any issues that arise directly with the person involved. If
this doesn’t resolve the issue, then perhaps we ask a trusted Christian
friend to help us mediate the situation…but only one…and ONLY if we
cannot work things out on our own.
If THIS doesn’t work, we may
have to step back and distance ourselves from the person and/or
situation and let some time pass before deciding whether to pursue
resolution again or not. Sometimes, it is not possible to make amends.
Sometimes we have to shake the dust from our feet, move away, and
prayerfully trust God to bring about the right outcome for everyone.
A
good example of this would be a workplace where you were being asked to
perform tasks that you knew were dishonest – or illegal. The first
step would be to let the person who was asking you to do these things
know that you felt this was not acceptable. If this did not resolve the
situation, you might enlist the help of a trusted – and agreeable –
co-worker or supervisor to talk to the other party. And in the end, if a
satisfactory agreement could not be attained, you might actually have
to either appeal to higher authorities - or tender your resignation.
I
never said this process would be easy - or painless! And frankly, this
is why so many of us let things fester and avoid confrontation. But if
we want to be in the will of God and honor His commands, we must follow
them. And it seems to me that Jesus has been pretty clear in these
verses about how we are to handle conflict and offense.
So
tighten your chin strap, pull up your boots, and hitch up your
britches…and do the right thing. Follow the protocol, and trust God to
give you the strength and courage to pursue a favorable resolution.
Remember…with God, all things are possible. You don’t really think He
would let you down on this one…do you?
©2016 Debbie Robus
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